We have a special, sexy episode for you this week.
Sexy, not in the titling way, but in a taking your shoes off at the end of the day… putting them over on your person’s lap and having them gently rub your feet and tell you they adore you.
This episode is about that feeling put to music.
Christopher Johnson, an audiomaker and my friend, first told this story at 99 Percent Invisible, the long-running, legendary podcast about design where he is a supervising producer. He tells us about The Quiet Storm, a radio show that launched a musical genre of feelings-forward ballads about love, sex and longing.
One detail I loved learning: before DJ Melvin Lindsey invented a radio format at the Howard University radio station that changed romantic ballads forever, he was a radio intern who also happened to babysit the station manager's son. You never know where you’ll find the next media star. Here’s Melvin:
And if you want to turn on some Quiet Storm, 99 Percent Invisible made a playlist. Track #1 is Christopher’s favorite. “It came on the other day when I was at a party, and I was in the middle of a conversation, and I made everyone stop talking because this is just more important than anything any of us have to say,” he told me.
Our The Pet Detective episode unleashed a bunch of your stories of love lost, and then found. Here are a few.
Loved The Pet Detective. Listening had me in tears. We lost our rescue lab, Rosie, in 2023. My husband was out walking her in February, slipped on ice and fell, and she bolted. I was on maternity leave at the time and was utterly distraught. It was frigid out--subzero windchills every night. We did all of the things--social media posts, walks, drive arounds, put out items that smelled like us and smelled like her, explored drone heat detection, and went door to door with posters. The hardest part was the not knowing. My mind ran wild as I was home 24/7 with my infant son about the fate she must have met, particularly in the dead of winter. Low and behold, on the 6th day of her missing, I got a call in the early evening from a local number I didn’t know. A couple several miles away who lived in a densely treed area had gotten a poster from my husband days before and believed Rosie was in their backyard. I’ve never flown out of the house so fast. Sure enough, there was Rosie, trembling in their backyard and looking like she was about to bolt again. It took all my willpower to walk up slowly and calmly. We got her back!!!
…I don’t think I could have listened to the episode had we not found Rosie. Everything was dead on--the scammers who reached out, the return to the wild mindset, and the absolute stunning resilience of our pets.
Thank you for such a rewarding episode to listen to and for highlighting Jim’s work!
-Amy in Clive, Iowa
During the pandemic, while a lot of people turned to cooking and baking sourdough bread, I got into cat rescue work.
…I had my husband build a cat shed on our property..I was so excited when the cat shed was finally done and moved 7 cats in there. I went to sleep that night…and when I woke up I saw from our bedroom window the front door of the shed was open!! …there were 5 cats missing. …
…I don’t have children but I felt like I shored up heroic maternal strength and I kept telling myself: “I HAVE TO FIND THESE CATS. I HAVE TO FIND THEM. I WILL FIND THEM. I’M GOING TO FIND THEM. ALL OF THEM.”
This ordeal involved:
- Consulting with animal trackers, including a woman down in Georgia, who seemed to be an expert in finding lost cats. I was ready and willing to fly her and her assistant up to Connecticut to help me track down these cats.
- Rejoining social media so I could post about these lost cats, and buying online services - both of which resulted in scam attempts and a lot of judgemental mean people accusing me of being irresponsible - similar to the stories I heard on today’s episode
- I learned there’s a free pet online “FBI” service
- Recruiting my fellow cat rescuer network colleagues to drive up from the Bronx to walk the neighborhood. I had just moved from NYC to Connecticut so these cats were from NYC, mostly the Bronx
- Having my husband drive me around to put up posters all around town
- Passing out flyers to my neighbors and having them allow me to check their properties
- Talking to someone who provides drone services for lost pets
- Driving all around CT to follow leads based on Ring or other camera footages
- Staying on high alert for any notifications from any of our multiple Ring cameras
- Setting up wildlife cameras, like the kind hunters use
- Walking our neighborhood streets every night and calling their names while carrying treats and leaving out cat food everywhere
Since then, I had my husband change the door handle on the cat shed, install an inner door so there’s a 2-door system now, put in a little latch on the outside door for good measure, and a Ring camera on the outside of the cat shed also for extra good measure.
It was quite the ordeal and your episode today really resonated with me.
—Tami in Ridgefield, Connecticut
I met my husband in 2017, we were both in mid life but connected on our love of the beach, adventures and our pets. He had a cat named Teetone and a dog named Otis. Teetone came to be with Trevor after being found in an abandoned washing machine inside a dilapidated house Trevor had bought to set up as a rental. No sign of the mother and likely only a couple weeks old, she was in rough shape. Trevor took on the challenge and never looked back.
Trevor drove a Toyota Venza, like soccer mom car, even though he had no kids. The primary purpose of the Venza was to be able to travel comfortably with Otis and Teetone on the many road trips he makes from Florida to Indiana.…It was a typical spring trip and Trevor stopped in Tennessee for a bathroom break and a snack. Teetone got spooked and took off out of the car. Trevor was panicked. He describes jumping into action, calling her, pacing around the gas station, not wanting to confuse her or go too far away from the car. He stayed there for over 15 hours with no luck. He drove on to Indy so he could make signs and returned the next day. No luck.
…For the next five months Trevor returned to the rest stop and called her name, replaced the posters, upped the reward. No luck. Six months later, just before Christmas, he got a call. “We have your cat”. Again, Trevor hit the road and showed up at a house two miles from the gas station. Sure enough, it was Teetone.
—Suzanne
And then this week, I also got this text from my sister, mom to 3 young kids:
I’ve been spending most Friday nights freaking myself out watching the new adaptation of Cape Fear on Apple TV. Javier Bardem is Max Cady and is exquisite, which prompted me to pull up this Esquire piece from May where Bardem talks about his approach to the iconic role. Overall, the plotting of the series veers into the ridiculous at times, but I’m in for the ride! So is Stephen King, who declared, “It’s entertaining because it’s more fucked up than Peter O’Toole on his birthday.” (He later added, “I say that with love and admiration.”)
The 1in6 podcast, a new interview podcast about, and with, men survivors of childhood sexual abuse, hosted by ER actor Anthony Edwards and Beau Friedlander, a friend of Death, Sex & Money. “I would never have told my story unless I heard other people’s stories,” Beau says. Here’s the first episode.
Another story about Californians being pro-housing in principle…but not in their neighborhood. I appreciated this column in the San Francisco Chronicle about new senior housing rentals in a very high-end neighborhood that are close to transit. Neighbors aren’t happy, because the apartments will be built in tall towers at the site of a beloved local Trader Joe’s. The community’s pro-housing legislator, though, is sticking to her principles. “I don’t believe we can say we support solving the housing crisis in theory while opposing housing in the places where it makes the most sense,” said Rep. Buffy Wicks.
The World Cup is over; my household’s obsession with World Cup anthems is not. Shakira and the Bad Bunny song from that commercial that ran over and over are still in heavy rotation over here.
Until next week,
Anna
This newsletter is free to you, but let me urge you to support the Death, Sex & Money team by becoming a member of Death, Sex & Money Plus. What do you get? Ad-free listening and special member-exclusive podcast drops. Please join us at slate.com/dsmplus or through Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
7/21 The Sexy Soundtrack for the ‘New Black Middle Class’
7/14 The Pet Detective
7/14 DSM Plus: A Chat With Anna’s Favorite Animal Trainer (Her Husband)
7/7 How Much Should You Spend on a Wedding?
6/30 Emmy-Winner Jeff Hiller Returns! Talking Bodies and Money in a Changing Hollywood
6/30 DSM Plus: Reading My Boyfriend’s ChatGPT History Led to Our Breakup
6/23 Was Dad Being a Creep? And Other Childhood Memories to Decipher
6/16 Spouses Peter Dinklage and Erica Schmidt on Bad Interviews, Fame, and Parenting
6/16: DSM Plus: This Meditation Will Help You Find the Courage to Open Up
6/9 Something Rotten at Stanford
6/2 DSM Plus: A Hands-On Retreat Where Men Learn to Flirt (and More)
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