If You’re Going to Go on the Date, Give It 100%

I’ll hear things like:

“He’s great on paper, but I’m not sure I’m attracted to him.”

Or:

“I’m attracted to her, but I’m not sure she has the right background, education, or career.”

What fascinates me is how quickly we can talk ourselves out of a connection before we’ve even given it a chance.

If you’re going to go on a date with someone, give it 100%.

Before you agree to meet them, make a decision. Either there is enough potential to justify exploring it, or there isn’t.

If you truly believe there is no possibility of a relationship, don’t go. You’re wasting your time and you’re wasting theirs.

But if you’re open enough to say yes to the date, then commit to being fully open.

Before a first date, I want you to mentally decide that you’re going to look for things to like about this person.

Not reasons they’re wrong for you.

Reasons they could be right.

The reality is that most singles are doing the opposite. They’re looking for evidence that confirms why the match won’t work.

Maybe they’re not the right height.

Maybe they went to the wrong school.

Maybe their job isn’t impressive enough.

Maybe they aren’t your usual type.

The moment those thoughts creep in, stop yourself.

Then force yourself to identify two or three things you genuinely like about them.

Maybe they’re witty over text.

Maybe they love the same sports teams you do.

Maybe they have a close relationship with their siblings.

Maybe they’ve built a life they’re proud of.

Find something.

Anything.

Train your brain to notice the positives instead of automatically searching for the negatives.

The exercise doesn’t stop once you meet.

You’re sitting across from them and suddenly the critical voice starts up again.

“They looked better in their photos.”

“They’re quieter than I expected.”

“They’re not as charismatic as I hoped.”

As soon as you notice that train of thought, interrupt it.

Ask yourself: