What Every High-Achieving Woman Gets Wrong About Pleasure and Productivity

Today we’re digging into something I think a lot of us, high-achieving women, feel…like this quiet irony.

I get it. We’re these ambitious women with big legacies we’re building.

We’re doing everything by the book, hitting the goals, got the structure, the marketing funnels are optimized.

And yet. We feel just exhausted, flat, kind of… disconnected.

And what I’ve realized in over 15 years of being an entrepreneur is that, this more than just being tired. It’s like this energetic numbness.

You’re technically productive. Sure. But it feels like you’re not really there absent from your own life.

Right? Like you’re just going through the motions.

And you find yourself having to force inspiration maybe when it used to just come, right? Or overthinking really simple decisions ‘cause your head and your body aren’t, synced up.

That really is a mind-body disconnect. And we could get caught in this awful cycle. You know, pushing harder than feeling guilty or not present and then pushing again. It’s relentless….and not in a good way.

So, what I want to do in this episode is to unpack this realization of we’ve gotten brilliant at the strategy, the execution side of things, masters of pushing for results - the effort, the grind, controlling everything, but, and this is the key bit… we were never really taught how to receive.

Like how to actually process energy, experience life success through the body. It’s this deep lack of receptivity and that seems to be why everything, even the big wins can feel a bit mechanical and empty… almost.

The machine keeps running. The productivity is there, but the fuel feels artificial, synthetic.

So this article today really is to explore this idea that deep systemic pleasure (you know the kind you feel in the bedroom and outside of it) isn’t some fluffy reward you get after the work is done. It’s not the dessert.

But, it’s actually the physiological mechanism, the thing that recharges your focus, regulates your nervous system and unlocks your creativity long term.

What I’m saying is pleasure is essentially a built-in productivity hack.

And to get there, we need to understand how we get so disconnected in the first place.

So, let’s talk about what I call, “The Kegel Trap.”

So after giving birth to 2 big babies, I felt something was physically off which, you’d probably tell me is common, right? So, I did what we’re all told to do by our gynecologists - Kegel exercises every, single day.

I approached it like the high achiever that I was where, if something’s wrong, I just apply more effort, more structure, and just do it right?

But here’s the thing. It didn’t work. Nothing happened. I followed the manual, put in the time, the effort, nothing changed. And so the frustration just built because I was trying to fix this systemic issue with just isolated mechanical effort.

Later on, I realized that those Kegels were like doing Bicep curls with no weights… like squeezing air.

You’re going through the motions, checking the box, but there’s no resistance, no real engagement. So no real change, no activation.

So, I asked myself, how often do I do that in business? Pouring effort into strategies or content or whatever that feels just like squeezing air… zero actual activation, no shift in energy, no real change in the tone of my vaginal muscles.

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Now, the problem wasn’t the Kegel exercise itself, it was the lack of something to push against that resistance.

That resistance came through what you may have heard me talk about before. It’s called “The Yoni Egg” and working with it gave me the resistance I need so that I have a feedback mechanism… you know, something for my vaginal muscles to push against! Talk about connecting your mind to your womb, this is the most tangible, most powerful you can do for that.

And look, the story isn’t just about the Yoni egg practice itself, it’s also the principle, right?

You need resistance, real engagement, and a feedback loop for activation, whether it’s physical or in your business. And for me, the physical results were immediate, but the energetic transfer really shocked me.

Because this renewed physical sensation just immediately translated into renewed life force. Suddenly business ideas were just popping up, content writing felt easy again, motivation for big projects just reappeared.

So this shift wasn’t just contained in my body, it rippled out everywhere.

This is the reason connecting back to our body isn’t some, you know, nice to have for high achievers. It’s fundamental.

And we see this principle elsewhere too - this idea of listening to the body instead of trying to constantly fix it - especially during big life transitions like menopause.

There’s this cultural narrative that menopause is this season when you’re tired, dried up, losing your edge… like it’s the end of your youthfulness, your sex life, and your productivity.

But, my soul-biz partner, Mariel, her actual experience was totally different. She described feeling this immense power, incredible clarity. A new kind of freedom she called it. Yes, she had some dryness at first and noticed she’d lost a bit of sensation, but instead of taking that as decline, she took it as information—her body asking for a new kind of attention.

And that’s fascinating to me because it’s the exact opposite of the expectation that we’ve been programmed to believe. I mean, she almost felt guilty telling other menopausal women that because she felt like she was bragging.

And what struck me most when she told me that was… it’s the same pattern.

The same thing that happened when I started using the Yoni Egg. For her, it wasn’t about fixing something that was “wrong.” It was about creating a relationship with that part of her body again.

Because that’s really what this is, whether it’s postpartum or menopause, it’s all about reconnection. The body wants you to engage it. It wants resistance. It wants to participate.

When you give it that, through your awareness, through something as simple and tangible as a Yoni Egg practice… it responds. It starts to give you feedback through sensations!

And that’s when the energy, the clarity, the creativity, all of it, starts flowing again.

So in Mariel’s case, menopause wasn’t a shutdown.

It was her body saying, “Hey, I’ve still got more to give… but you’ve got to pay attention to me down here.”

And that line really stuck with me because that’s exactly what my own body was telling me through the Yoni Egg practice.

That it was never about fixing or forcing; it was about coming back into a relationship with my body.

Speaking of awakening the system. I want to talk about the experience that really unlocked this whole physiological connection for me because it demonstrated our body’s built in reset in a really undeniable way.

I’m talking about experiencing cervical orgasm for the first time at age 39. This is what really made the power of this work for me just undeniable. Because it wasn’t like the clitoral orgasm that most women have experienced. We’re familiar with that right, the surface type of orgasm where you feel this really quick high then it’s gone in a few seconds? (Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and place for a nice quickie lol).

Well, the cervical orgasm is what I’d describe as this intense “a spiritual experience” (in a really good way).

I mean my whole body buzzed for days and I experienced this huge emotional release crying, not from sadness but because I was finally feeling everything again which is the complete opposite of the numbness I felt before.

Exactly. So let’s get into why that one experience changed everything.

Why does this kind of deep, non–goal-oriented pleasure create such a total system-wide reset?

Here’s what’s actually happening inside the body.

The cervix connects directly to the vagus nerve.

Think of the vagus nerve like your body’s superhighway, or honestly, the CEO of internal communication.

It runs all the way from your brainstem, down through your chest, through your diaphragm, and into your abdomen.

It connects everything… brain, heart, lungs, gut.

So it’s not localized. It’s systemic.

And its job is critical. It regulates your mood. It calms anxiety. It controls inflammation. Basically, it’s what keeps your entire nervous system in a state of balance and what I like to call coherence.

Now, coherence just means your system is running smoothly.

You’re in rest-and-digest mode. You’re calm, regulated, receptive.

But when that vagus nerve is underactive or suppressed, you get stuck in fight-or-flight.

And here’s the thing… that’s the baseline for most high-achieving women.

We think we’re operating at “high performance,” but really, we’re operating in protection mode.

And when your nervous system is in that constant, low-level fight-or-flight, everything that makes you exceptional like your higher-level thinking, your strategy, your decision-making… it’s all compromised.

You literally can’t access your best ideas when your body thinks it’s under threat.

So when I say reconnecting to the body through pleasure soothes the system… it’s not just relaxation.

It’s actually restoring the clarity and creativity you need for complex work.

It’s how you make smarter decisions with less friction, less second-guessing, less burnout.

That’s when it clicked for me: pleasure isn’t indulgence.

It’s strategy.

It’s a practical productivity hack.

Because before this whole awakening, I was trying to think my way into flow.

More strategy. More structure. More systems.

Control, control, control… which just kept my nervous system locked in that same pattern of rigidity and stress.

Stress thrives on control.

But afterwards, everything flipped.

My whole approach shifted from control to connection.

From effort to energy.

It became about what I call living in wild, wet, juicy, soul-reviving, blissful moments.

That was my new operating system.

So, okay. I know this all sounds lovely but maybe a bit abstract if you’re someone who’s focused on hitting targets, right?

But here’s the thing: the results were not abstract.

After I started living this way, things just started moving.

New ideas came flooding in out of nowhere.

Unexpected sales.

Random checks literally showing up in the mail.

And yeah, that part still blows my mind… checks in the mail!

And that’s where I dropped that line that still makes people pause:

The solution to your bills is bliss.

Now, I know that sounds bold.

It needs unpacking, because bliss can sound fluffy, maybe even irresponsible, especially if you’ve got deadlines, a team, clients, real responsibilities.

So let’s ground it.

It’s not magic.

It’s physics.

Or maybe more accurately… it’s frequency.

When your nervous system is running on stress and control, you’re operating at a low frequency.

You’re forcing energy out.

Everything feels like pushing a boulder uphill… high output, minimal return, tons of friction.

But when your nervous system is regulated… when that vagus nerve is toned and coherent through pleasure, breath, movement… you shift into a high-frequency state.

That’s what I mean by bliss.

It’s a resonant, coherent energy that pulls things toward you instead of you constantly chasing them.

And that shift, from pushing to pulling, that’s what changes everything.

Because when your nervous system feels safe, your body becomes receptive.

And in business, receptivity looks like this:

• trusting your gut on a hiring decision,

• seeing an opportunity other people miss,

• being open to collaborations that just land in your DMs and just saying yes because you felt it in your body and you didn’t overthink it.

It’s not luck.
It’s clarity.

When your system is calm and clear, you naturally become magnetic. People, ideas, money — they gravitate toward coherence.

Now, we’ve all experienced the opposite.

Trying to force creativity when you’re stressed.

Staring at a blank screen, grinding it out, hoping something will click.

But your brain feels tight, your energy’s flat, and you just end up feeling worse.

That’s because stress literally shuts off the parts of the brain responsible for creativity and innovation.

When you’re in protection mode, your body turns off the systems needed for excitement, curiosity, and flow.

That’s why you lose enthusiasm.

Your body’s signaling danger, not opportunity.

So the most productive thing you can do in that moment isn’t push harder.

It’s to step away and do something that activates your vagus nerve… something that fosters receptivity.

That might look like breathwork, movement, self-touch, self-pleasure, orgasm… whatever helps your system feel safe again.

Because when your body feels safe, your brain reopens.

Ideas return.

Energy returns.

And you can create from fullness instead of burnout.

That’s the edge.

Producing from fullness… not depletion.

It’s about realizing energy is part of the strategy.

So here’s the big takeaway:

Pleasure isn’t the reward you earn after you’ve ticked all the boxes.

It’s the prerequisite.

It’s the necessary reset your body, your nervous system, and your brain need to restore focus, energy, and that intuitive spark.

Start there, and everything else… your work, your ideas, your relationships… starts to flow with so much less friction.

And if that’s true… if the vagus nerve really is the body’s built-in regulator, the internal control center for our state of being… then it raises a pretty big question about how we’re approaching everything.

Because if the body already has this incredibly powerful, natural mechanism for regulation, resilience, and creative flow, how much are we over-engineering things?

All the complex systems.

The rigid structures.

The endless apps and programs.

Sometimes it’s just more bicep curls with no weights.

More ways to fix what’s not actually broken.

Maybe the key has been inside the whole time. It’s just waiting for us to turn it.

So that’s the question I’ll leave you with today:

Where in your life: in your work, your routines, your striving… is your effort just squeezing air?

And where could listening to your body, giving her that resistance, that pleasure, that reset, actually be the most productive thing you could do?

Something to sit with.

If this conversation woke something up in you…maybe you’re ready to stop squeezing air and you’re familiar with that quiet knowing that your body has more to give when you finally slow down and listen… that’s exactly what we explore inside The Sensual Reset.

It’s about rewiring the high-achiever’s nervous system through pleasure and I walk you through these exact practices so you can develop a powerful way to regulate your mood, productivity, confidence, and creativity from the inside out using the Yoni Egg.

Whether you’re joining live or through the instant access link in the show notes, get yourself inside and start your reconnection journey HERE.