I Was Found Guilty. But I Don’t Feel It.

That evening, as I wrote down my reflections from the trial, the House of Lords debated and voted to pass an amendment to the Public Order Act (2023) that essentially criminalises all peaceful protest against animal testing, with no clear boundaries in place of what is and isn’t breaching the law.

What a double-whammy! Convicted for rescuing puppies and then told by those meant to protect our rights that we are about to lose them, by categorising the animal testing industry as Key National Infrastructure.

I should be feeling miserable, despair even for animals and maybe even resentment for 12 members of the public ignoring both the moral and legal route to find me and my 3 codefendants “Not Guilty”. Yet, I still feel hopeful. Maybe I’m still caught up in my wave of peace after spending the last week telling the jury about the night I rescued the puppies. How proud I am of what we achieved. But there’s something in me that feels like we’re winning. Why else would the Government choose to quickly sneak in changes to a law that already squashes protest rights? Surely, it has to be because we are winning.

From the moment jury selection began, I dove straight into the trial to ensure the animals’ stories were heard as fairly as possible. The first hurdle was to actually question the potential jurors themselves. I remember my arguments as they came out of me strong and clear.

I argued that one person who previously worked for a company that produced feed for animals in laboratories should not be present - his bias against animal rights protestors didn’t come across as understanding, and after hearing his answers in court about his change in work, I raised concerns about him potentially being made redundant as a result of protestors. After the Judge questioned him further, it turns out someone threatened his place of work with a fake bomb and he was then removed from the trial.

I was right to make this argument, and I think the Judge respected the way in which I made it. This person was replaced by a rather jolly guy - a positive sign, though it never resulted in a positive outcome.

Once the jury were sworn in I looked over the group who would decide my future and tried to connect with them in a small way, just to bring a bit of humanity into the courtroom. Yet, most refused to look at me right up to the point of giving evidence, as if I didn’t exist, or I was already guilty. I had a strong feeling then, that no matter what I was going to be found guilty.

But I didn’t let that realisation drag me down and I refused to shy away from my actions, or use a different avenue to try to draw in their support. I took it as an opportunity to share just how bad animal testing is on the whole with the people that most needed to hear it, that I believe the Government is acting unlawfully, and that we should have the right to step in to rescue an animal in need.

The prosecution’s case was quite truthfully embarrassing. In a sense, it is baffling to me that we would be found guilty, not only as a group of people who did the right thing and had a legal defence for our actions based in morality, but when the prosecution runs such a poor case against us.

For one thing their remarks were riddled with errors and misquotes, for example the prosecution opened with the statement that there were 5 of us defendants breaking into MDR - there were 4 of us, and it’s called MBR Acres. During cross examination I was asked if I knew the difference between stealing and killing, followed by actually asking someone on trial for saving life, if they would kill someone (seriously..).

In closing, the prosecution kept referring to the bible and ‘judging the neighbours ass’, but because he mumbled and spoke feebly at points, it really came across as though he was mentioning his neighbours literal arse, leaving me completely perplexed, as several members of the public gallery grimaced to one another. Finally, during sentencing, the Prosecution incorrectly listed my prior convictions. You can’t make this stuff up. They barely challenged our intentions or honesty and actually did not address the planning at all in my case; yet they argued that I should serve time in prison without establishing the factors that ensure this is appropriate.

Another notable feature of the judicial system in this case was its speed, this particular trial ran like no other I’ve seen - the case was listed for 2 weeks, yet we achieved all we needed to within the course of 4 full days of court time - The Judge was nothing if not efficient. I’m a fan of efficiency, and appreciated his desire to hear more cases. It does then call into question why most other cases cannot be run in the same manner? Rather than scrap jury trials, perhaps the system itself should simply be more efficient. But that’s perhaps a separate matter entirely.

You may find this odd but I was not one bit stressed. I was calm throughout; confident and proud of what we’d done. I also felt proud of all three of the other defendants, they did so incredibly well.
Us puppy ‘burglars’ were an eclectic combination of therapist, animal protection worker, legal support worker, ex military, and ex children’s home carer. It was screamingly obvious our group was one made up of decent people, doing their best all round in society. Perhaps that’s why the Judge labelled us as “exemplary”, including myself, even after acknowledging my prior convictions, some of which were not my smartest of moments.

I was really grateful the Judge seemed to entirely understand that we truly do not believe we broke the law, and my feeling is, he also isn’t keen on MBR Acres. Nor one of the Prosecutors. But of course, they cannot say that.

I was slightly nervous for evidence, just because I don’t like public speaking, but knew my background of 2 decades of mostly volunteering and campaigning to protect, rehabilitate and rehome animals was powerful, and I believed it would make perfect sense why someone like me would help rescue dogs in need - it’s who I am and what I do. I help animals. Like I told the Jury, I “found my calling”.

I found it a lot more difficult talking about my emotions, as opposed to the conditions at MBR. I felt both grateful and compelled by moral duty to share the truth about the facility and procedures that take place both inside and after the dogs are taken away. But talking about my own emotions has never been something I’ve been good at without getting emotional. and I struggled running through having to leave behind all of the little faces - especially after seeing the footage and hearing how distressed they were, knowing they’ve since all been bled out, to death for some, for others, the more unfortunate ones, poisoned to death slowly over the course of 6 months.

I still feel sick when I think of animal testing, and I do feel despair when I think about why they’re being used. It’s just not at all necessary.

I felt my closing statement was impactful. Short, sweet and to the point - I am proud. I did the right thing, nothing will ever change that and no matter the verdict, I’ve acted honestly, morally and within the law. One thing will stick with me however - the look on Juror 8’s face, and it was at this point I knew for certain we would be found guilty. His facial expression was apologetic, pained and I’d maybe even say rueful. Like a dad wanting to stand by his daughter though he believes she’s done wrong. It was the look in his face that made me choke up. Again, not because I knew, or thought I knew I was going to prison for doing the right thing, but because he had made that decision, whilst clearly feeling internally conflicted about it. I got the sense that he wasn’t choosing what was right, but what he’d been taught burglary meant. I don’t think it was accepted that we could do what we did, lawfully.

During sentencing I was at peace. I said my goodbyes to my family the night before over the phone. At the point of saying goodbye to my little brother, I choked - that was the only point at which I felt bad in some way. But I explained to him the same - I love him, and I want him to know I did good, did right, and I do not regret it. And he replied that he was disappointed people didn’t believe me and he was sad, but also knew I did good saving doggies and he knows I will be okay, and back soon. This broke me that bit further. And it is because of him that I bothered to apply for a lesser sentence.

That night, I stayed up til 1am thanking so many people for their supportive messages and packed a bag for prison. Truly, maybe it seems strange, especially with so many others losing their heads, worried sick about me, but at no point did I think ‘oh no, this is really happening’, I just kept returning to this true sense of calm, and peace, exactly like the moment I kicked into gear on site that night - when I landed over the fence - peace, calm and tranquility. I’m living and breathing what it means to love and protect others with all I have. What it means to fight for a better world for all. Nothing can take that away from me, not stripping my freedom, not stripping my ability to see my family, or speak to my friends. Nothing.

Once the Judge passed me a suspended sentence, I breathed a sigh of gratitude, I bowed my head slightly in recognition that he spared me from jail, and acknowledged my character, when he did not need to, and then allowed my mind to think of the future.

I was found guilty, but will never feel it. And I will continue to always protect animals, and bring about a better world for them with whatever time, freedom or rights I have left.

And I ask you to do the same. Building a world where animals are valued and are respected, and having that belief engrained in society will only lead to more positivity, security and compassion for people of all kinds. Protecting them, protects us.

Sign petitions, join a march, expose cruelty, rescue animals, awaken hearts and change the system. It all counts, and I believe we have a moral duty to do what is right by others.