The Quiet Christian, Part 3

It’s not always easy for an introvert to be integrally involved in an oh-so-social Christian culture. Just the thought of large groups of people regularly getting together for Sunday worship, potluck suppers, bible studies, and committee meetings is enough to make some introverts retreat to their comfy couch with their cat, a good book, and a cup of hot tea. Picking up where I left off last week (read Parts 1 and 2 here and here), I want to share about a service opportunity that suited my INFJ personality perfectly.

Sometime around 2006, some of the leaders at my church decided we would work with the international non-profit organization, Stephen Ministries. Named for St. Stephen who cared for the poor and downtrodden in his community, the organization was established in 1975 in St. Louis, MO. They train Stephen leaders who in turn train Stephen Ministers within their own congregation. The role of a Stephen Minister is to be partnered one-on-one with an individual who is going through a rough patch in their life for any number of reasons – death of a loved one, divorce, relocation, illness, financial distress, etc. – and help that person through that difficult time.

I recall our pastor telling us about the concept, and he taught us a new-to-me at the time word – paraclete. Always a word nerd, I was on the edge of my seat. Paraclete, I learned, is derived from the Greek word, paraklētos, which means “alongside”. A paraclete is someone who comes alongside another person who is struggling. Synonyms include helper, advocate, comforter, supporter, and intercessor.

I was thrilled. Sign me up! Don’t ask me to speak before a crowd of people, (I’ve actually become more comfortable with that over the years; back then, no way) but working with an individual is something I can DO. INFJs are intuitive, thoughtful, compassionate, and empathetic. We’re good listeners and connect deeply with others. We long to make the world a better place, even if it’s one person at a time.

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists of listening to them. Just as love of God begins with listening to his word, so the beginning of love for our brothers and sisters is learning to listen to them.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The hitch was that in 2006, I knew, and my church knew, my family and I were moving out of state the following year. Would they invest in training me, knowing I wouldn’t be able to serve from that church? Thankfully, they recognized my enthusiasm and allowed me to participate in the rigorous (50 hours) training program.

Indeed, we did move from Pennsylvania to Louisiana in 2007. Once I settled into my new home and surroundings, I found a church who had a Stephen Ministry program. They didn’t know me, but I convinced them to allow me to serve with them. They connected me with a woman who over time became a dear friend. I’d like to think I made a positive difference in her life. My family and I ultimately joined a different church that did not have a Stephen Ministry program, and she was my only formal Stephen Ministry partnership. But I’ve carried the training with me. It has served me well in helping others who just need an understanding companion and a listening ear.

Ephesians 4:12–13 sums up the Stephen Ministries mission well. “To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.”

Learn more about Stephen Ministries here.

In The Quiet Christian, Part 4, I’ll detail more ways this introvert has found to effectively serve and be comfortable within a busy, boisterous Christian community.