The Quiet Christian, Part 1

As you may have seen from my earlier posts, I have a vested interest in the topic of how an introvert can comfortably navigate our extroverted Christian culture. In this new series, I want to dive deep into the details primarily to help and encourage other introverts who wish to be involved in a religious community but also to provide ideas for churches on how to help introverts feel welcome and safe in their congregations.

A bit about my background . . . I grew up attending church with my parents. As a young adult, from late teens into my mid-30s, I rebelled a bit against organized religions. Maybe rebellion is too strong a word. I believed in God, but I stopped attending church, and then I basically stopped thinking much about God.

When my sons were three years old, I started wondering, hmm, if I want these boys to have a similar upbringing to my own, we need to start going to church. “For the kids’ sake,” I said to my husband, who’d had a similar life experience. Little did I know, but would soon come to know, how very much this new endeavor would alter my own life.

Bob agreed, and though I initially felt daunted by the prospect of finding the right church for us, the process was actually super easy. When I had phoned my mother and told her we wanted to find a church (I can only imagine her joy in that moment) but didn’t know where to start looking in terms of denominations (I only knew I didn’t want what I had grown up with), she told me my sister had recently started attending a Presbyterian church and liked it, so Mom suggested I start there. That simple phone call changed the direction of my life.

We attended Hiland Presbyterian in Pittsburgh, Pa. the following Sunday. We were warmly welcomed and felt at home from that first visit. We never looked anywhere else and attended this church for nine years until we moved to Louisiana in 2007.

Being welcomed was one thing, but fitting in and becoming an active member is quite another. When you join a church, after a brief grace period of getting to know you, they naturally start wanting you to do things. Participate. Contribute. With other people. Join a committee. Teach Sunday School. Volunteer. Attend pot luck suppers and other events. Church is all about group activities! The types of things that cause many introverts to run and hide.

At that time, I knew I was “shy” around strangers. I knew I was a “homebody”. But I hadn’t yet identified as an introvert. That revelation came several years later at a women’s retreat where we all did the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to help us learn more about our personalities and how we might best serve in the church. I discovered I am an INFJ (only 2% of the population are in this category). I always knew I was a bit different and that people didn’t always “get me” but what a relief to learn that there’s nothing actually wrong with me – it’s just who I am!

Back to finding my place in the congregation . . . I will forever be grateful to the then-Christian Education coordinator, Donna Lee. She asked me to join a Bible study she facilitated called Women’s Christian Fellowship (WCF). I felt very intimidated by the thought of a Bible study and had some excuse why I couldn’t attend. Later, she asked me again. I had another excuse. Some time after, she asked me a third time and I finally agreed, but with the caveat that I might not be able to come every week. Readers, this Bible study became a vital chapter in my faith story. With this small group of women, I found my way back to God, to prayer, to scripture, to spiritual healing. Thank God for Donna Lee’s persistence!

When an introvert gets to know like-minded people in a small group setting, they start to feel safe. That’s the key. Then they open up and become comfortable sharing and participating. I rarely missed a meeting. Here’s a photo of me and some of my friends in WCF. I miss and love them all.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks where I’ll explore more on how a quiet soul can find their way in our very noisy Christian culture.

Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.