5 Things That Could've Been My Favorite in September if Taylor Swift Didn't Exist

Everyone knows Taylor Swift is my favorite, but I love lots of other stuff too! Here are some things that might’ve been my favorite in September 2024 in an absolutely horrifying alternate universe where Taylor doesn’t exist.

1. That Time I Saw the Aliens From the Future

If I’d done this for August the entire thing would likely have been about Imaginal Disk by Magdalena Bay, which blew me away as thoroughly as any record in recent memory — including those released by Taylor Swift — when it dropped in August. If you’ve been reading my weekly NFL Storylines, you may already have some idea of this because I’ve used the Magdalena Green Bay Packers as an excuse to link to Magdalena Bay songs every week and I will continue doing so for the rest of the season. The best description I’ve got after an unthinkable number of hours listening to their records over the last six weeks is Magdalena Bay sounds like what would happen if aliens from the future heard a bunch of disco and prog rock and said “hold my space beer.” I was blown away again as if for the first time when my new favorite aliens took the Brooklyn Steel stage a few Fridays ago for one of the most memorable shows I’ve ever attended.

2. Commercials Will Never Be Boring Again

I already loved the PlayStation version of the wonderful poker-meets-solitaire video game Balatro with all my heart. The lone drawback was that it’s a game perfectly suited to being played while doing (or watching) something else, but was previously tethered to the living room TV. Which is why I was absolutely over the moon when an iOS version of Balatro released last month, forever nerfing the ability of corporations to grab my attention during breaks in sporting events. The moment the clock hits halftime or I hear the sad FOX injury music, I’m drawing after flushes or inside straights or whatever other hand the multiplier gods are leading me towards this run. This sort of ease of access to a drug like Balatro may also forever nerf my productivity, but so far it’s been a pretty benign relapse.

3. Sometimes Comedians Make Great Music Recommendations

Most Fridays, I have a pretty good idea where I’m gonna find the album that’ll dominate my ears for the following week(s), whether that’s because an artist I already know and love just released one or because I know where to look for recommendations. Sometimes, though, I open Twitter on a Friday seemingly devoid of interesting new releases, immediately see the comedian Josh Gondelman quote-tweet a band I’ve never heard of saying their new album is “VERY good,” and I think…why the fuck not? Much to my delight, he was right. Bad Moves’ Wearing Out the Refrain is one of the most infectious albums I’ve listened to this year but also hides a serious lyrical punch behind the power pop ear worms. I can’t pretend it’s a contender for my favorite in a year which includes Imaginal Disk and a double Taylor album, but it’ll absolutely be close behind them on the list.

4. We Come to This Place…for The Substance

This is a nonsense blog, so I am not going to delve into a critique of The Substance as a feminist text, though it’s a topic worthy of exploration elsewhere. What I am going to say is that seeing it with a Friday night crowd at the Nitehawk was one of the most enjoyable movie theater experiences I’ve had in a long time. Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley and Dennis Quaid all give fantastic performances and the film is a visual masterpiece, nailing everything from set and costume design to the extremely gruesome visual effects it leans on more and more heavily as it goes on. But the real star, many times over, was all of us in the theater who simply could not help but react vocally to the insanity playing out on the screen.

5. WWE’s Kaiju War

I adore the art form called professional wrestling for a variety of reasons ranging from being a sucker for melodrama to being impressed on a professional level by the ability of WWE in particular to pull off live productions of that scale multiple times a week. Sometimes it’s just fun to watch extremely large humans throw each other around though. This main event of this week’s Monday Night Raw was one of those times, a “Last Monster Standing” match between two of the largest humans in pro wrestling these days, “Big” Bronson Reed and Braun Strowman. Both the match and the entire feud that led to it had the same giddy energy as the Godzilla vs Kong movies, right up to the moment the ring collapsed. It was utterly absurd, I couldn’t have enjoyed it more, and I’m gonna go watch it again.