The Illusion of Cord Cutting

Why do some people remain with us long after the relationship has ended?

Why do certain connections continue to shape us, even when we’ve done everything possible to move on?

And what if the threads between us were never actually meant to be severed?

I can’t tell you how many times people asking me for a cord cutting. A new age, shamanic remedy for releasing those who have done you wrong. After 25 years in the Akashic and thousands of clients on my table, allow me to illuminate why cord cutting is a terrible practice.

Cord cutting often seems banal. A good intention to sever a connection. The invisible tethers between you and another person cut for good.

It’s offers a quick fix. Sometimes its touted as the thing to do. Even if we never really understand what it is.

And I get it.

Something in us wants to reclaim our authority. To stop the pain. To stop feeling pulled by someone else, controlled by someone else.

Honey, I’ve cut cords so many times.

But here’s the thing. It’s inherently a violent act.

For many years walking as shaman, people would ask me for cord cutting to cauterize the connection. It always felt brutal, somehow crude to me.

Even then, something inside me resisted the idea of simply chopping a thread away and letting it flail somewhere in the unseen.

In my then wisdom, I would instead detach the cord and re-route it to something sacred. A church, a sacred site, give it back to god.

Whatever they were trying to receive from you… I would re-route so they would instead receive from Source itself.

Clever, right?

With my ever expanding relationship with Aka, something finally dawned on me.

The freaking cords.

How have I never seen this before?

The language we all use. These invisible threads we somehow universally acknowledge… without ever truly examining them.

As though they are ours to sever, manage, or control. As though we are to remove them to regain our sovereignty and power.

And what if the things that truly shape us were never meant to disappear?

And suddenly I could feel it. The cords are Aka and have been all along.

We often speak about cords as invisible energy between people. But with revised, wise eyes, perhaps we can finally see them for what they truly are.

If you’re new here, I shared more directly about this in The Field Has a Name, Part 3, where Aka is named as the thread, Akasha as the living web, and Akasa as our conscious relationship with reality.

Aka. The living connective intelligence. It’s always alive. Threads woven through all things, through the universe, giving form to matter.

I experience Aka sometimes like plasma. Nebulous and impossible to fully grasp… yet absolutely real.

The Akashic reveals our relationship with reality itself. Our willingness to be in it consciously. To recognize life while its occurring. To choose differently while the thread is still alive in our hands.

And when we can’t do that in that moment… the wisdom remains available later, still imprinted within the web. So that next time we find ourselves at a similar juncture, we can choose differently.

Because Aka remembers.

Baby, what if nothing real can really be severed?

The thread itself is sacred. In its most fundamental nature, it exists beyond time and space. So nothing can truly be cut, severed, cauterized, gotten rid of… only evolved.

Because Aka in its pristine state is not attachment.

The pain comes from unconscious tending. From loops. Distortion. Attempts to pull life from another person instead of from Source itself.

But the thread?

The thread is sacred.

And suddenly cord cutting begins to feel like a feeble attempt at sovereignty.

In this path of self-awareness and reclaiming your authority, you’ve been taught that empowerment means severing connection. No-contact is a common suggestion and, while it may cease the pain temporarily, restore your power momentarily, it also disconnects you from the wisdom you were there to gain.

But precious darling… that is the illusion.

Because once you truly see these threads for what they are, you realize that cutting them denies you the gained wisdom, the higher awareness, the freakin’ gift that was given in the relationship itself.

Every person you have loved.
Every grief.
Every betrayal.
Every teacher.

Still alive somewhere in the tapestry. Not trapping you or haunting you. But still imprinted, still existing.

And perhaps maturity is not learning how to cut the threads… but learning how to tend them consciously.

So rather than cutting, or collapsing into helplessness, we create boundaries. We expand what we thought was possible be it delightful or despicable.

Those invisible necessities that allow us to remain safe within ourselves.

I had a coach many years ago who placed a red thread around me while I sat on the floor. She invited me to state my boundaries out loud.

What does it take for me to feel loved?
What agreements must exist for me to feel safe enough to receive love?

That practice stayed with me.

Because boundaries are not cruel. They are not punishment. That’s old codependent programming speaking.

Boundaries exist so we can remain seated in our power. So we can engage more consciously in relationship. So the investment of our love, attention, and life force can continue to flow without self-abandonment.

And perhaps this is where we misunderstood the work of Aka entirely.

Because wisdom isn’t found in severing ourselves from lived experience.

The more conscious action is reclaiming your energy. Calling your life force back to yourself. Gathering the fragmented pieces of you that were abandoned in longing, grief, betrayal, performance, and giving oneself away

Not cutting the fuckin’ thread… but becoming whole within it. Its threads woven to support a truer version of you arriving.

This is also why knots matter: the places we stay bound can become architecture in the field if they are never seen clearly.

When we sever recklessly, we don’t just attempt to remove another person. We fragment ourselves in the process. Leaving vital experiences, wisdom, and former versions of ourselves unintegrated dangling somewhere in the unseen.

But Aka remembers.

And through conscious tending, those threads can be purified. Rewoven. Returned to coherence. And used to weave the tapestry of you that is so delicious and waiting to be given life to.

When we reclaim that energy instead, something else begins to happen.

The grief. The pain. The longing and trauma. It’s no longer sitting frozen somewhere inside the body or looping endlessly through the field.

It begins to alchemize.

Not through denial or grinning our way into faux, forced forgiveness.

But into lived experience and by acknowledging something here mattered and it served, not severed me!

Lived experience, when consciously tended, becomes wisdom.

This is why the thread itself matters.

Because Aka is not simply carrying memory. It is connecting consciousness.

The evolution of who you became because you lived it. And like it or not, we gain wisdom from every experience.

Relationships teach us not only who we are… but who we no longer wish to be.

Think about a toxic relationship.
A partner.
A friend.
A family member.

Perhaps they revealed the places where pain had become currency. Where you abandoned yourself. The places where you were made to accept less than your soul deserves.

There is a strange honesty in recognizing that experience changed you, even the sucky ones.

Because of it, perhaps you found your voice. Your standards. Your boundaries. Your own damn clarity.

Without it, you may have continued living inside a smaller version of yourself.

Aka can’t be cut. But it can be purified. Returned to its highest state. Luminous threads through which reality itself is woven.

I think this is the deeper technology of Akasa: not severing the threads… but learning how to create through them consciously.

So rather than cutting a cord, perhaps you allow the relationship to become what it was always meant to be: a point of your transformation. A moment where a more sincere, more embodied, more sovereign version of you was finally able to come to life.

Because nothing real is ever asking to be severed. Only seen clearly, only claimed by you to become all you were put here to be.

My ask:

When have you tried to cut the cord and it didn’t work?

And what if next time you try something else instead?

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