In a stunning revelation and Satiriser exclusive, it can now be revealed exactly what went on in the National party’s emergency three-and-a-half hour caucus meeting last week.
What happened behind the oak-panelled caucus door has remained a carefully guarded mystery, particularly as PM Christopher Luxon has insisted that beyond lone actor Chris Penk there was no challenger to his leadership.
The question that has dogged the party since then has been “if that was so, why did the meeting take so long?”
Now in anonymous national MP has broken ranks to reveal the incredible truth.
“What is true,” the MP insists, “is that the leadership question was resolved straight away and we all united behind the PM.”
“What we couldn’t have imagined was that then he sat us down and made us watch The Odyssey”.
According to the insider, PM Christopher Luxon drew the blinds, pulled down a screen, and wheeled in a projector, explaining that he was about to show an inspirational tale about how one man could lead his team through many challenges to ultimate victory.
“That was the idea, and to be honest it sounded like a welcome break from his usual corporate-speak lecture. But as we watched it became increasingly clear the PM had no idea what actually happens in The Odyssey”
“Before he started it going he told us he was going to lead his team like Odysseus led his men – on a tough but ultimately victorious journey. I don’t think he realised that in the story by the end of the journey Odysseus is the only one left alive.”
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