…the realness behind that is, I was scared.
Of giving too much. To be seen as ‘attached’, or ‘too much’. Often when I did, people would run with it, weaponise it, or worst of all, take it and disappear.
So I learned to hold it back. My tenderness became sarcasm and my admiration in shameless banter.
That’s a plate of love with a side dish of irony.
That’s not the way.
Everyones light deserves to be seen and my resistance to complimenting you the way I wanted to was never about you. It was about me protecting something I thought might not be safe to give.
I will never dim anyone’s light to protect my own again.
PS You are brilliant.
You don’t need to belong to anyone or anything.
You already belong to yourself. That’s enough.
If you’re constantly reaching for a connection to feel whole…stop.
Ask yourself: ‘Am I seeking to be seen by others because I’m not seeing myself?’
Belonging starts when you stop trying to fit in, and start standing firmly in who you are.
You don’t become a new version of yourself by deciding to change. You become who you are through what you repeat. Every intention you don’t act on dies. Every small behaviour you repeat becomes a vote for your future. Every habit you keep is shaping your identity.
Get it? You are not stuck. You are rehearsing all the damn time!
The question is: What are you rehearsing yourself into?
Change is built in tiny, unglamorous choices. A boundary, or pause, or better decision.
And repeat.
Start with an intention and turn it into a daily action. Protect it long enough for it to become automatic.
Do that, and you won’t need motivation.
Metox is designed for self-growth fanatics like me. From my soul to yours.
Come find me where you are.
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