What is a home?

The Question came about from always needing to move, more often against my desire. There would always be circumstances outside my control having me move every few years. This happened from before I was conscious, into childhood and through adulthood. Sometimes it was homes, sometimes schools, and sometimes both.

2016-2019 I had 4 moves happen in succession. This had me frustrated, but curious. What does a home mean to me? Why is it so hard for me to find it? Why does it never stay?
I didn’t have any answers, but I knew it couldn’t be where I’ve already looked. So I booked a ticket to Japan—a country I had always wanted to visit, to clear my head and do some soul searching. This was before any of us knew what we were getting into with the pandemic. My intention was to do a one year working holiday—which for viral reasons didn’t come to pass. Although, that trip was meaningful in many ways I didn’t find direct answers to my big question, but it did give me a clue. (I also needed to return to Canada because of the global restrictions and border closures happening, so my Eat, Pray, Love moment had to wait.)

It was hard to find someone to talk to who had experienced the kind of unstable home life I did and come out the other side. I asked The Question to friends and strangers online and they answered with things like, “home is where the heart is” among other wise words. But wisdom is earned and I had yet to experience the truth of those words. In retrospect, it makes so much sense why I feel at home living an unconventional lifestyle. I have always struggled to fit into existing structures, whether it be institutions or a standard workplace. I can only keep it together for so long before I am exhausted and can’t perform to an acceptable standard. It didn’t matter what angle I came at the problem because my problem was two fold. If I can’t find meaningful work, it’s going to be very hard to make a home for myself.

2022-2025 I made decisions by looking at what others had and tried to make it fit me. Of course no one’s home is “perfect”, but seeing how there are so many examples around me where people are able to have a place to live and work to pay the bills; I took any opportunity available that made either of those even slightly possible. One by one, in the ugliest ways those opportunities of work, business and even friendships came crashing down. Finally, the last place I was living as of December 2024 was comically removed from my life. From my perspective it all really felt like a cosmic joke. I have always been someone to try until the bitter end, and this was it.

Vietnam was never top of my list of countries to visit, so how did I end up here?
With nowhere to live and no meaningful work for me in Canada, I knew I needed some time to figure out what to do next. I didn’t have a plan. As grateful as I am to have some of the most helpful friends and family that will support me and give me a roof over my head—I’ve learned my lesson. Living somewhere “just because” isn’t going to cut it for me. Working to make ends meet without a bigger why is not how I operate. If I’m going to take refuge at a friend’s or with family until I figure things out then I can do that anywhere. Me of all people, who has moved over and over again, doing all sorts of jobs, working with all sorts of people. I was confident that I have the experience to live a life doing honest work on a farm in Vietnam.

Now less dramatically: I knew that farm stay programs existed from my trip to Japan. I didn’t think of it much at the time aside from a cool experience. I worked on a dairy farm for a few months. This time I wanted to experience something more hands on. Dairy farms are more management and less grit work and I want to learn how to grow food, in a sustainable small farm. Turns out Vietnam is one of the only few on the directory I used (WWOOF.net)