Lost & Found

This post marks the last personal update you will receive from me this year, until January 2026.

✧ Flagged Ground ✧

                      My flag is in the ground.
                      Ground not of dirt or sand.
                      Flag not of fabric, or
                      fabricated borders of land.
                      My flag is in the ground.
                      Staked in hearts-empty.
                      Hands full of mind.
                      Rather than hand in hand,
                      we stand over land.
                      My flag flies
                      the wind, against.
                      Flag of feathers, of wings,
                      Cast shade onto eyes
                      which do not meet, eyes
                      which see past us as
                      means to an end.

My Summer personal update, “Permission to disappear” was a (re)turning point for me. The words which came through me changed how I relate to myself and my story in a new way. In a way which does not make me a prisoner of my past, but also doesn’t ignore what I have lived through. This balance of looking at the blinding truth and walking with hands-out-front to feel my way through the unknown is what’s new for me.

I used to instead, set my eyes on a goal, and through sheer will power forge my way forward, a lot of this was possible thanks to my superpower ability to limit any pain I felt in the process of becoming whatever it was I thought I had to be.

Since that post, my focus has shifted from my story, to our story. From myself towards others.

If you focus on how to make the people in your life only feel better, rather than be better, or simply get people off your back–you’re just maintaining the status quo. I am not here to encourage cookie cutter frameworks of how to handle relationship dynamics, or any form of external rubric of expectations to follow for success and happiness.

I’m more interested in you finding your own unique solutions to creating a life that is beyond what you thought was possible for you and the people in your life. To do this it’s necessary to connect with yourself, because it limits the noise of the world. The clarity you gain in solitude is a map to your personal evolution, and that evolution is part of the puzzle for creating a ripple of change that starts from your life and emanates outwards.

There is a lot of stigma around the idea of focusing on oneself. I want to make it clear for anyone who may believe it to be self-serving and selfish. The act of focusing on oneself is not an end in itself, but a means for connection to something greater.

The same way it’s unwise to give in to every desire of a child, even if they become unhappy in the moment, we have to hold a certain level of discretion for what others ask of us. It’s not easy, just as hard it is for an adult to deny a child, there is pushback and resistance when we decide to actively hold the people in our life to a deeper vision.

How solitude takes shape in your life will be different depending on the stage of life you’re in. It may be as simple as a 5:00 a.m. run, or as dramatic as a solo trip to a foreign country where no one knows you.

However, there is no replacement I have found for silence and solitude. Whether you love the people in your life, or simply tolerate them out of obligation, people will always need something from you and if your discernment is rooted in their comfort rather than their growth you will get lost in the stories and needs of others. Again, this is not to dissuade you from showing up for others, rather it’s to get deeper than just tending to people’s surface level needs.

As you go through this process, it won’t make sense to everyone around you, some may even frame it as a personal betrayal. This is normal when you behave outside of an established set of expectations and accepted norms.

This process is not all or nothing either. Learn the difference between swimming in solitude and drowning in sorrow.

AND 2. I want to uphold a culture of recognition and support so last month I created a section for writers to showcase their work. If you’ve written something you are proud of, tell me. Let me know. I want to know. Tell me all about it.

Last month’s submission is a relatable short story, read it in full below: