Cyber Sigil Heart There is a new schedule for 2026 for Volume 2 of A Modern Dilemma A Modern Dilemma, is a garden, of thoughts, perspectives, news an...
As I pack this dorm room, as I lay my fingers across the hall, the blue painted stones of a room that has been my safe haven for over year. I think about the anxieties that december offers. Every so often I can feel something inside me, i feel it so deeply that I can't even begin to pinpoint exactly where its coming from, is it my skin, covered in goosebumps? is it my ribs jolting out because myโฆ
Do you think about how long it takes to get to the bathroom? I count 30 seconds or so, its and its left, a right, a right, then a left. If I go to the bathroom during certain times i will certainly guarantee that no one will see me. Thankfully, this bathroom has the single stall shower. I get dressed in the bathroom after showering. I do this for the multiple complaints of safety that haveโฆ
In the last year I found myself doing things I wouldn't. User: You are a nasty nasty girl! Me: Thats how you talk to women? User: Just girls like you. I have over 300 subcribers to my onlyfans, I have over 200 subscribers to my livestream and I have been on over 100 dates with men who thought a benjiman was the ticket to win over a girls heart for the night. I'm not swimming. It's kept me float atโฆ
2018 Flashback. we just got back from the party, my usual is a Johnnie Walker Double black and Coke. I dont fucking like Jack Daniels, it taste like dog shit. I usually have somewhere between 5 and 10 of these or until the girl I went on a date with will remind to stay hydrated. The air is as cold as any October, and the window is open to remind me its only been 20 minutes since my last cigaretteโฆ
Theres something in me that refuse to be quiet, to give up to say " its time to let go". I wont fucking do that, I am capable, i dont understand it, but i know i believe in all of my bitterness, my rage , my childhood, my future, my ambition, Im doing something, Im a professional "not giver upper" Everytime I lay still staring at my ceiling, biting the top of my pen, as I read through my text. inโฆ
i just want a fucking ring on my finger lmfao. i want someone to look at me and say this is forever and actually mean it. i want commitment, the kind that feels steady, the kind that makes a farm by the river make sense because weโll both be there taking care of it. i want to grow with flowers and a big old dog that comes with me in an old chevy truck, windows rolled down, fur in the wind, musicโฆ
if i could rewrite the dsm i think about the dsm sometimes, which is funny because most people never do. but itโs shaped so much of my life. itโs this invisible book that decides whatโs โrealโ and whatโs โjust in your head,โ and if youโre trans it can decide if you get hormones or surgery or if the insurance person gets to laugh and hang up. once, a therapist told me, very gently, that she had toโฆ
I. I always wanted to help others, I always thought I should give back, I should put my best forward, and regardless of the shape im in... I'm convinced i can do some good, though the path Ive been is not sustainable. When everything around feels like an attack? ow do you concentrate? how do you reconcile with that? I want to graduate, I dont know anymore if that means here... A Vacation. Sureโฆ
I am a fucking woman, I feel like a woman and my life experiences as this moment in the here and now are of a fucking woman. So why do people have the need to approach conversations about imposter syndrome with me? Because You think, that I think I fucking doubt myself, but im the most sure in the fucking room. I am supposed to be here, i dont need to say that myaself, and I dont need to say thatโฆ
when I think about the way things used to be, the grandiosity of it all, the power ive held, Its not fair to say that I never enjoyed life until the moment I transitioned, but Its also unfair to say that my transness was the solve all to the worlds problems. when I think about boyhood, I think about the things that built around me before I think about the ones I built myself. The men I grew upโฆ