please stop trying to dress like a European girlie

Right now if you have Instagram and you are planning a trip to anywhere on the large and diverse European continent, you are likely being bombarded with videos that purport to tell you exactly what the cool European girlies are wearing this summer. (No idea what the men are getting, sorry!)

You can watch reel after reel after reel about the tops to pack, the dresses, the shoes, the big impractical hats. The sheer vast consumerism of it all is its own spectacle.

It doesn’t even matter so much that it’s inaccurate in about 1000 different ways, although, yes it is, because the 40-somethings in Copenhagen and the 20-somethings in Athens and everyone in between are not all issued one standardized summer uniform each year as a kind of EU-wide directive that an American influencer who spent a week in Paris at tourist traps can decode for you.

I’m not trying to pick on my fellow countrymen with this post — we are not the worst tourists ever, we have lots of good qualities, and I want everyone to have a great time on their trips. But as an American who lives in Athens, Greece, I’ve seen some things, and I have Some Thoughts.

It is so, so American to think that we can, with a few clicks, purchase a new identity that we can try on for the length of a vacation (which is no longer than one week because again, American).

European style is not one homogenous thing. Style is not something you can shop online for based on a formula. You cannot become European with the right outfit. Source: I have lived in Europe since 2019 and I am still not European, and I’ve done plenty of shopping, believe me.

But because I am American, I also understand this impulse very deeply. We are taught that identity and personality and style are something you can buy, that really anything is something you can buy, that you are defined by what you purchase and what you consume. Even travel can be a form of consumption and not an actual experience, if your trip is simply about buying things and eating things and taking pictures using the place you’re visiting as a backdrop.

I too have fallen, in the past, for the lie that a Longchamp tote will make me magically transform into a French girl, that the perfect trench will fool everyone into thinking I am a native Londoner, that I can wear oversized slouchy clothes like a Scandinavian model (I am medium height and very curvy, this is not possible). That’s how I know it’s a dream and not a reality.

Those social media posts can seem like they’re coming from a friendly expert trying to guide you. But they’re actually just another American who doesn’t live in Europe and went on vacation for a week to a bunch of overpriced spots that look good on Instagram but lowkey suck (*cough* Little Kook).

They do not have any idea what they’re talking about.

They use Europe to mean one specific place even though it’s a whole ass continent, and they are just trying to sell you something so they can pay for their next basic bitch vacation somewhere else where they will clog up the streets trying to get the perfect picture to sell more overpriced linen sets. It’s a scam all the way down, and we’re falling for it because we have an idealized image of the European life in our heads.

You do not become Greek with an outfit. If you could, that outfit would be full length jeans in July (I have no idea how they do it but many of them do). You, at your 7pm dinner reservation in July (I don’t know how you do it, it’s way too hot to eat then), will not pass for a Greek no matter how much linen you purchase.

To be fair, my wardrobe and my clothes and my style all do say something about me, and so do yours. Our clothes are a way of communicating something about ourselves to other people, whether we do that intentionally or not.

But you cannot become a different kind of person by spending some money on a few outfits and a brief vacation. And you might be distracting yourself from bigger, better questions by obsessing over your packing list.

Questions like, what am I doing on this trip that truly fulfills me, instead of checking things off on a list? What small businesses and locals am I supporting on this trip, instead of just big global chains? Which local customs do I need to look up before I go, like saying a polite hello when you enter a shop or restaurant in Greece? (They’re mostly small businesses, and it is rude to just stride in and start barking out what you want.)

Have I learned how to say at least hello and thank you in the language they speak where I’m going? If you have time to watch a dozen Reels on “Euro summer outfits”, you have enough time to learn two or three words.

The obsession with consumption and appearance leaves us feeling empty, even when the perfect pictures hit the Instagram grid and all your friends are jealous. (I am an Insta over-poster so I know this all too well). If we can focus a little bit on connection instead, I think we would enjoy our holidays more, and the people in the cities and town we visit would too.

I also really believe that you should dress the way you want to, the way that reflects you, for your trip! You don’t need to change your whole sense of style to try to fit in to a place where you’re a foreigner for one week. Love the outfit? Wear the outfit. It doesn’t have to be a European girlie outfit for you to have a good time.

So, what should you really wear in Greece? (Please note I didn’t say Europe, I have no idea what you should wear in Finland and these tips do not apply in Ireland, Europe is very big).

A few real (free!) tips from an Athens resident, with zero affiliate links:

• Pack flat, practical shoes. Athens is a very hilly city, and our sidewalks are made of marble which while very chic also makes the sidewalks (where they exist) into a very painful slip n’ slide situation. Same goes for most islands.

• While cute sneakers are a yes (I live in my Converse in the winter), please refrain from bringing your actual gym shoes on your vacation. Why are you wearing your gym shoes anywhere but the gym at any time? This is very unchic. Same goes for gym clothes and athleisure.

• You want to wear a big wide-brimmed hat because you think you are in a Nancy Meyer movie (that’s also my dream), but really you are coming to Greece, a very windy country in summer, especially on the Cycladic islands. This meltemi wind keeps us cool but it will blow that hat right off your head.

• Get your nails done. Greek women of all ages have impeccable nail game, it’s very inspiring. In general they also have impeccable grooming, as do the men (my dad went to a Greek barber last year when he was visiting and it was an unforgettable experience, he was left without a single pore unclogged and hair untrimmed).

• Iron your clothes. No self-respecting Greek would be caught dead at even the grocery store in an un-ironed shirt or jeans. It angers my darling cleaning lady that I do not iron my sheets or towels or underwear. Ironing is a Balkan religion, and it does actually also make even a basic outfit looks really great.

• Bring a little handheld fan for the metro and for hot nights. I have one I bought in Venice that features a lady with one tit out. Very European-coded (although I do not live in the topless beaches part of Europe).

But also, think less about how your outfit will look and more about how your behavior will land. If no one else is yelling on the metro or in the restaurant or on the ferry, please don’t yell. Maybe keep questions like “are there gyms in Greece?” to yourself (I have heard this question multiple times, Greece is a European country not a hole in the ground, yes there are… gyms?!).

Don’t call things weird just because they’re different. Don’t expect that everything will be just like it is at home — yes you will have to flag the waiter down for your check at a restaurant, no they will not come over and tell you their name and their life story and check on you every five minutes, please just enjoy a peaceful dining experience for once in your life.

And above all, remember that Greece is a real place filled with real people going about their real lives. It is not a backdrop to your Instagram story. It is not Disneyland. You are not entitled to behave however you want just because “I paid good money to be here!” Spending money on a holiday doesn’t give you the rights of a temporary dictator, you are a (welcomed) guest in the embrace of the famous Greek hospitality. Behave like one, not like a child at Disneyworld who doesn’t understand that the characters have real people inside of them.

Yes, your brief European vacation is a fantasy, and you are a tourist just like all the other hordes of tourists coming here. None of this is a bad thing! Vacations should have at least a little bit of fantasy and escapism in them.

I personally am off to an island in two weeks where I will walk through a dense pine forest to the beach to swim every morning and drink freddo espressos every afternoon, and this is nothing like my real life. That’s why I’m going.

But think more about your actions than your outfit, please. That’s how to really have a great Euro summer. Manners are chic! And I’m so serious about the flat shoes. I do hope you all have a great time this summer, free from sidewalk slips and subway faux pas, wherever your travels take you.

Buy me a coffee

four years of living full-time in Greece

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May 22

Four years ago today I walked out of the offices of the Greek Ministry of Migration into a hot spring morning, clutching a blue paper with an enormous official seal on it saying I could now stay legally in Greece for as long as it took to approve my residency permit.