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On the last day of my 15-year-old son Teddy’s spring break, he popped into the kitchen while I was making dinner, and casually asked, “Would you want to play ping pong with me?”
“Not now, Teddy,” I replied reflexively. “I’m in the middle of making dinner.” He vanished as quickly as he’d appeared, and I turned back to my chopping, my heart dancing a joyful jig at the rare honor of a teenager’s invitation!
But by the time the meal was ready, I realized my grave mistake: Teddy had made a “bid” for connection, a term coined by renowned relationship researchers, John and Julie Gottman.
And I had responded in exactly the wrong way…
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