Reading · Happy on Purpose

Welcome to Happy on Purpose, a bestselling newsletter about happiness, habits, and midlife. Tap the ❤️ button to spread the joy!

One skill I’d love to develop: the ability to give a great speech.

It’s graduation season in the United States, and I’m looking forward to this year’s round of inspiring, funny, and thought-provoking remarks: I’m in awe of speakers who deliver essential truths in a memorable, relatable way—without haranguing the audience or reciting bland platitudes.

For years, I’ve collected timeless nuggets of wisdom from graduation speeches that have become mantras and guidelines in my life.

And so, in honor of this year’s graduates, and for all of us who seek to live wisely and meaningfully, here are my favorite graduation speeches of years’ past…

“Maybe young women don’t wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case any of you are wondering, of course you can have it all.

What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you.

And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.”

Above all, whatever you do, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” Nora Ephron, Wellesley College, 1996

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air.

You name them — work, family, health, friends, and spirit — and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls — family, health, friends, and spirit — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” Brian Dyson, 1991, Georgia Tech

“Yes, talent matters. I’m not going to stand here and tell you it doesn’t. But talent has a broad definition. Most of the time, it’s not about having a gift. It’s about having grit.”

In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. Now, I have a question for all of you: what percentage of the POINTS do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%. In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play.

The truth is, whatever game you play in life... sometimes you’re going to lose. A point, a match, a season, a job... it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs. And it’s natural, when you’re down, to doubt yourself. To feel sorry for yourself. But negative energy is wasted energy.

You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That to me is the sign of a champion.

The best in the world are not the best because they win every point... It’s because they know they’ll lose...again and again…and have learned how to deal with it.” Roger Federer, 2024, Dartmouth

“Graduates, as we celebrate your achievements, I want to talk about something that might seem trivial, but in fact has profound implications for your future success and happiness. Something as consequential as your major or where you land your first job.

And that’s where you choose to keep your phone.

Where you physically place your phone just might be one of the most consequential decisions you make. And unlike some decisions, the choice of where you keep your phone is one you get to make over and over again, every hour of every day for the indefinite future.

Now, each time you pick up your phone, you invite a cascade of notifications, messages, and images to hijack your attention. Each time you stare into a screen, you look away from what’s around you. And research suggests that very often you do so reflexively, mindlessly, automatically.

Think about all the things you can’t do when you’re stuck to a screen. Bear hugs, high fives, locking eyes with a future soul mate.

If you don’t like how your phone grabs your attention, directs your thoughts, triggers your desires, then push it away.

On the other hand, if you do want something to take up more of your conscious awareness: art, poetry, a really good novel, keep it close. As close as possible.” Angela Duckworth, Bates College, 2025

Mary Schmich, a Pulitzer-prize winning newspaper columnist who believed that “Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out,” wrote a pretend commencement speech filled with so much common-sense wisdom that it went viral, was wrongly attributed to Kurt Vonnegut, and inspired Baz Luhrmann to turn it into a song. Here are some nuggets…

“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.” Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune, 1997

Is there a graduation (or another) speech that’s stuck with you forever? Can you remember who spoke at your graduation?! For some reason, I remember my high school graduation more clearly than my university ceremony…

Leave a comment

Sally Field in Remarkably Bright Creatures

📺WATCH. Did you see The Devil Wears Prada 2 at the movies? I enjoyed it, although not as much as the original. I’m hoping to get back to the theater this week to see Hugh Jackman’s latest, The Sheep Detectives, which sounds nutty but is getting great reviews. Also getting great reviews: Sally Field in Remarkably Bright Creatures, based on the bestselling book, on Netflix. On the TV front, Margo’s Got Money Troubles and Hacks are my current favorites, and I thoroughly enjoyed Rooster (and am hoping it will return for a second season!). I’m also liking Widow’s Bay, a dramedy starring Matthew Rhys as the mayor of a remote New England island that appears to be haunted: there’s tension, but it’s not too scary (yet!)…

📚READ. I am only in the mood for cozy, uplifting, comforting books right now, and am completely immersed in The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, a charming series (there are 8 books!) set in a fictional part of London in the 1800s. Plucky Emma is a twenty-year-old orphan in a financial bind who’s always in a “scrape,” and it’s a pleasure to escape into Emma’s world of long walks, fascinating neighbors, and structured (and polite!) social life. Depending on your current mood, here are some more ideas: 11 cozy and cheerful 20th-century novels OR 12 Dark, Revenge-Filled Books That’ll Help You Channel Your Anger(!!).

Jane Fonda’s incredible tribute to Ted Turner, her former husband. “He swept into my life, a gloriously handsome, deeply romantic, swashbuckling pirate and I’ve never been the same.”
A relatable problem at this time of year: What Can I Do About See-Through White Pants?
How to become more confident in 60 seconds.
LOVE the “pineapple state” explanation for why women wear hair ties on their wrists! “It’s that moment your hair goes from ‘fine’ to ‘if one more strand touches my face I will literally KILL SOMEBODY!!!!” So you throw it up in a high, messy bun. A pineapple. And suddenly, everything is so, so much better.”
A hat that says it all.😉