While there’s much talk about adding habits to our lives, from 17-step skincare routines to uber-disciplined morning rituals, the biggest positive changes we can make often come from dropping unhelpful, time-consuming, and expensive habits.
But eliminating habits is notoriously difficult. Three tricks I use are:
Asking myself: Does this actually make me feel good, or do I just think it will?
Replacing the unhelpful habit with a better one.
Calculating exactly how much time or money I’m spending on it.
Influencers, talking heads, and “experts” may tell us certain things are important, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution for living well.
Here are three “popular” habits I’ve subtracted from my life, and never looked back…
1. Using a wellness tracker. In 2010, I proudly clipped a first-generation Fitbit to my shirt. I loved the idea of getting inside information about the workings of my body, but became overly attached to its metrics: obsessing over my sleep “score” instead of noticing how well-rested I felt, and pushing to walk extra steps on days I was already exhausted to hit a set “goal.” It’s far healthier for me to pay attention to how I feel than to outsource my well-being to a gadget.
2. Obsessing over my kids’ every move. There’s an endless amount of enrichment and “extras” available to modern parents who want the best for their children. I’m not immune to this pressure, and have spent countless hours (and dollars) on sports and after-school activities. But as my children, and their friends, have grown older, it’s become apparent that no amount of academic, athletic, or artistic achievement can make up for deficiencies in their emotional and mental health. Our most important job as parents is to raise children who feel loved, needed, and known, not to check off a list of achievements that fulfill our own unmet needs or impress others.
3. Self-prescribing supplements. There are so many untested supplements and vitamins on the market that I’m generally skeptical—and a recent experience made me even more so. At my annual physical in January, my creatinine level (a marker of kidney function) was elevated. The culprit? A collagen-boosting supplement. I’m now taking half the recommended dose with my doctor’s approval. Lesson learned: never take a supplement without consulting your doctor first.
I fulfilled a dream and made Happy on Purpose sweatshirts!
Now, two lucky readers can win their own, hand-embroidered, high-quality, cotton Happy on Purpose sweatshirt in the size and color of their choice!
To enter, pop into the comments and tell me what your favorite treat is: sweet or savory! Many of us will be celebrating Easter and Passover this week, and while I’m looking forward to eating my weight in creme eggs this Sunday, I’ll also never turn down a french fry…
Good luck! I’ll draw and email the two winners on Tuesday, April 7.
📺WATCH. Did anyone else bite their nails during the season 2 finale of Paradise?! It’s stressful but so well done, and I’m thrilled it's returning for a third season. Steve Carell is cracking me up in Rooster, the “coming-of-middle-age” comedy set on a college campus. I need to catch up on Imperfect Women, the intriguing thriller starring Kerry Washington, Elisabeth Moss, and Kate Mara. But I’m most excited to watch Season 2 of Deadloch, the clever Aussie detective dramedy. Season 1 was exceptionally smart, twisty, and hilarious, and I can’t wait to ogle Liam Hemsworth, who stars in Season 2.
📚READ. Lake Effect: A Novel is a fascinating family saga set in Rochester, New York, during the 1970s sexual revolution. It’s a well-written exploration of how changing social norms affect the way we live and love, and I couldn’t put it down. For a total change of pace, I’m now reading A Killing in November, a highly rated British detective novel by Simon Mason.
I shared my favorite spots in and around Millerton, NY with Dutchess Magazine: if you happen to be in the area, these are my go-tos.
How cool is it that Rachel Hochhauser, the author of the buzzy bestseller, Lady Tremaine, is the co-founder of a puzzle company!
There’s a good reason you can’t concentrate. “What is a TikTok video if not a digital Dorito? In the same way that you’re unlikely to eat Twinkies as a regular snack or still believe that Pop-Tarts provide a balanced breakfast, stop consuming ultraprocessed content. Don’t use TikTok. Don’t use Instagram. Don’t use X. Their sugar-high benefits aren’t worth the costs.”
How to be more resilient, with the “5,6,20” plan (breakfast x 5 days, sleep x 6+ hours, exercise x 20 minutes), based on a new study.
🤣As my husband knows, I love nothing better than a leisurely “lache” walk to discuss thorny problems, budgets, hopes, and dreams…
Valerie Monroe’s newsletter, How Not To F*** Up Your Face, is essential reading for anyone who doesn’t want to, well, f*** up your face, and this week’s issue includes an important cautionary tale about supplement-taking.
Did you see Amanda Peet’s incredible personal essay about taking care of her dying parents and receiving a cancer diagnosis at the same time? It reminded me of one of my favorite memoirs, The Middle Place, by Kelly Corrigan, a gorgeous meditation on the poignant experience of caring for your children, aging parents, and yourself.
🤣We saw Project Hail Mary at the theater recently and loved it. Here’s Ryan Gosling using Gen Z slang to describe the mission: “Remember, don’t be mid” and “Let him cook…”
A very warm welcome to all of you who upgraded your subscriptions this week!
I’m so glad you’ve joined our wise, thoughtful, fun crew, the majority of whom, according to last week’s poll, prefer fall/autumn over every other season (46%), followed by 29% who like summer the most. Winter and spring were almost tied for the least popular!
Have a wonderful week and weekend, and all the best for a peaceful and happy Easter and Passover, for those who celebrate. I’ll be back next week with a parenting tip for teens and young adults.
P.S.: If you liked this, tap the ❤️ button: it truly helps more people discover Happy on Purpose, and I deeply appreciate it!
🎁You can EXTEND your paid subscription for free! Each time you share Happy on Purpose with a friend who becomes a free or paid subscriber, you automatically earn a free month’s subscription. Use the Refer a friend or Share button on any post to win.
📧Were you forwarded this email? This is a paid subscriber issue of Happy on Purpose, a bestselling weekly newsletter filled with ideas and advice for a joyful life. Here’s more about the newsletter and me.
❤️If you’d like to subscribe, click here!
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.