A conversation that changed my perspective on a career in illustration

I’m sitting on a cool concrete wall in the shade, procrastinating finishing my walk around the reservoir, (the last stretch is all in the sun and uphill… I’m not mentally ready yet) and I’ve been mulling over a conversation I had recently.

An illustrator friend who is extremely successful, senior, and who i respect immensely, told me during a recent conversation, that he thought it was surprising (and congratulated me) that after 15 years of being “out” of the industry I could come back and start landing great assignments. He said that once you leave the fold, so to speak, it’s really hard to rebuild those connections, and that he’s really never seen it work before.

I definitely don’t want to brag, but it’s true— I’ve been extremely privileged to start out at an absolute sprint, landing a great agent, and getting cold emailed for projects for several best-selling fantasy authors, in large publishing houses, as well as really spectacular special edition fantasy assignments, which feels so lucky!!! Trust me, I’m not bragging, I’m just as shocked as you are!

But in reflecting on the conversation, I have been feeling a little existential. If you bear with me, I’d love to explore that a bit together.

I started thinking big picture about what we each subscribe to believing is true or not true in our reality. To me, I had never even considered that being ‘out of the loop’ for 15 years would mean anything at all. In my opinion I am happy I spent those years honing my craft away from publisher’s eyes.

Is it better to be in the mix from day one, in all your messy post graduation trial and error? Or is it better to pop onto the scene at age 35 with a fully formed portfolio, and ability to be professional and adult in business dealings?

Are these things really true?

Do either of those things matter?

Is this a total fluke?

Or is it because I have a superpower of being completely delusional? I wish I was joking (no I don’t, I love having magical thinking!!!) but I never even considered having any barriers, does that mean they don’t exist? I guess I’m getting a little tied up in philosophical musing here… but I think we can be our own gatekeepers, when we decide to believe what other people say is hard or impossible. Whats the harm in not believing that?

I also think that as a whole people don’t often accurately predict what is going to happen. People said printed media was dying out, special edition books are more popular than ever. People said AI was going to replace all artists, publishers are among the fore-front of the advanced guard against AI usage. People said digital illustration is the future, I think maybe my work is popular with art directors because it’s NOT digital.

I think the perfect example of this is what Brandon Sanderson talks about (often) but most recently in his speech on Tolkien at Oxford. Queue it up just before the 58 minute mark:

The point being that even professionals in whatever industry you’re in don’t necessarily know where things will go.

Not to be all Tony Robin’s-esque over here… but I actually believe that being delusional is what propels us into accomplishing our goals and dreams. At worst, I can’t see any harm in it!

If I had had that conversation 6 months ago, would that have created a belief in me that what I was aiming for was impossible, or at best, improbable? Would it have stopped me from fully committing to pursuing it? I don’t know.

I’m not sure what my advice here really is, but I think it’s something along these lines. You don’t need to stick your head in the sand, but I think it’s worth taking any ‘warning’ or perceived ‘barrier’ with a massive massive spoonful of salt.

What do you think??? Is this true?

The other month I was watching The Name of the Rose, one of my all time favorites, and I proclaimed to my husband that I missed my calling to be a monk illuminating manuscripts in some tower somewhere. Weird, because months later I look around my desk, cluttered with inks, parchment, and brushes, and it seems like that was a prophecy. (CRINGE!)

Much love!

Thank you for being here for my ramblings

xoxo