Reading · Amanda Litman · RSS Amplifier

As I constantly try to moderate my internet usage and maintain something resembling sanity, I have developed two key rules for social media in 2026.

I wrote about this rule a few months ago and have mostly stuck with it.

TLDR: I don’t have time for playing keyboard warrior, and if I do, I should be working on the rough draft of my romance novel instead.

That doesn’t mean I don’t engage in back-and-forths — I do! But I try to curb my impulse to tell someone they’re wrong or to get into any kind of argument with a stranger in my mentions. It rarely serves me.

Rule #2 is a newer one that I developed more recently…

I’ve experienced this a few times in the last month or so as I’ve (unfortunately) been posting more on Twitter/X.

The intra-Democratic Party conflict is happening there in a way I cannot ignore, so I’ve been weighing in when I have a take, as is appropriate.

Sometimes, people don’t like what I have to say, which is their right as an American. Disagree with me all you want, that’s fine.

My frustration rises to the surface when the disagreements go from variations of “you’re wrong” and transform into “you’re a bad person because you’re wrong” — or worse, become a pile-on. I especially cannot abide it when they come from people who actually know me.

I get it to a certain extent: Everyone in politics is just playing a role online; we’re all doing our jobs, advocating for our causes, and generating productive conflict. It’s part of doing business.

But there is a point at which it goes from helpful to hurtful.

So I’ve made it my new MO: If someone I can directly reach out to is being crappy to me on the internet, I say something to them.

I’ve done it via text, DM, and even in person. I ran into someone I had never met at a conference who’d spent a lot of time being rude in my replies and I said directly: Hey, I wanted to introduce myself. We’ve never met before but you’ve been really shitty to me on Twitter, and I wanted you to know that sometimes you veer into personal attacks and it hurts my feelings. I get you’re doing your job, but there’s a person behind the posts.

(After this person tried to push back and tell me I was the crazy one for being hurt, I redirected us to a new topic. A thing I’ve learned from my toddlers: Do not try and litigate the past.)

Sometimes I’m ignored. Sometimes I’ve gotten good responses with something approaching an apology.

Either way: I have been able to let go of my irritation, knowing that at the very least I said my piece.

I know this might seem deranged or like overkill. And admittedly, as my husband gently noted when I explained this rule to him, sometimes I see personal insult where there’s just honest disagreement. (I’m working on it!)

But I really do want to lower the temperature — especially among my peers and colleagues — and collectively remind ourselves that we’re all real humans (sometimes), not just avatars behind a screen.

Making this rule for myself has also pushed me to consider: Would I say whatever I’m about to post to someone directly in person or over text? If not, why should I say it on the internet? I will inevitably fuck this up from time to time, but at the very least, I pause!

It’s possible that my rules make me less effective because the internet and attention economy thrive on conflict. But try as I might, I am not one of those chronic posters in it for the love of the game — my nervous system needs a break from time to time.

If I end the day with slightly lower social media reach but also slightly less rage, I think that’s a worthwhile trade.

My two rules for social media in 2026

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