What's your true value

Hello all

This week I am exploring an uncomfortable truth in leadership

As an executive coach, I’ve observed something you might not want to hear

Your impact matters more than your intention.

In my early career I worked with two leaders

Both had a strong impact on me

Both asked questions and would consider themselves coach-like and empathetic.

Both had the positive intent of accelerating growth.

One created massive value in their organisation

Their leadership and management approach inspired a culture of asking questions, being curious, being open about mistakes and seeing them as learning opportunities.

One destroyed value

Their approach created a culture of judgement and fear. Suggestions were silenced. Results were massaged to hide mistakes.

What made the difference was how it felt

The leader that destroyed value wasn’t open or vulnerable about themselves as a person. I didn’t know who they were. They felt cold, hard and uncaring. They never let you in and they always seemed to be judging you. This judgement came from a sense that they were striving for perfection and whatever you did: it wasn’t enough. You weren’t enough. The questions they asked felt like they had come from the ‘red pen’ they had run through your performance.

They triggered my imposter feelings and behaviours. At the time I would do everything I could to avoid working with them. I didn’t volunteer for the projects they led and I felt sick every time they asked me a question in board meetings. In later years when talking to other colleagues who worked with them - everyone had similar experiences and thoughts - it wasn’t just me.

The leader that created value played a straight bat. They created high trust by being transparent about their motives and thinking. They were open about their own personal learning and viewed work as a space to learn and grow. As a result they made time to listen deeply. The questions they asked were invitations to reflect on your performance and grow from it.

They inspired me to be better and my career skyrocketed. When I retrained as a coach I started to piece together what they did and why it worked so powerfully. When they died the crematorium was standing room only and filled with people who deeply appreciated their support and positive impact. I have shared the questions they asked me with 1000s of leaders and the positive ripple of their work continues. 25 years on I continue to look back with love and gratitude for their support.

Both leaders had the positive intent of accelerating growth

They got very different results

Why?

Because good intentions don’t guarantee a positive impact.

I know this because I’ve coached multiple individuals within teams or across organisations, so I have been in a privileged position of hearing both the leaders and individuals experiences.

You might be passionate about people but others experience you as smothering

You could be a visionary who fails to offer clarity

Your aim for professional gravitas is dismissed as incapable of feeling by your team.

The kicker here is that when I’m coaching leaders:

They know that they’re like at their worst

The words used by others to describe them - they tell me.

And they hope

That it doesn’t matter

People will forgive them

People won’t notice what’s going on under the surface

But it does matter

And people do notice

At every touch point and in every conversation you have with people at work you are either creating value or eroding it.

Each week on substack I’m going to share more about the ‘Leadership Value Creation’ model I have created and the tools and resources I am building to help leaders create value at every touch point and leave a legacy of positive impact.