Embracing Selfishness this Holiday Season

The holidays often bring commitments and obligations to others, but what about your needs? Have you taken a moment to consider what you need this season?

If you prioritize your own well-being, does that make you selfish?

The term "selfish" is often used to label those who put their needs first, or we may even call ourselves selfish when we feel shame for prioritizing our own well-being. According to Merriam-Webster, selfishness means being “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.”

Prioritizing your needs doesn’t automatically make you selfish. It's possible to meet your own needs while still being mindful of others. This doesn’t mean catering to everyone or placing their needs above your own—it simply means acknowledging them. For instance, choosing to skip an event to rest, even if it might disappoint others, isn’t selfish. It’s an example of honoring your needs while being aware of the impact on others.

Here are some blogs that might help you to prioritize your needs:

People-pleasing prioritizes the needs of others at the expense of your own, while kindness requires giving equal consideration to the needs of others and to your own. READ MORE

How can gratitude – a widely embraced wellness practice – negatively impact your mental health?

Practicing gratitude can be beneficial in many ways. In fact, studies indicate that gratitude improves your psychological functioning, physical health, relationships, and career development (Gregory, 2022). Yet, gratitude is not always beneficial. Gratitude (like most psychological practices) can have either a positive or negative impact upon your wellbeing. In certain circumstances, gratitude can be harmful.

You’ve learned many methods to manage your emotional and physical health. You know that these skills work and you know that you should use them. But, you’re not. Why? You might think you’re lazy or forgetful. Yet, the reasons you’re not using coping skills can be complicated. READ MORE

You can find peace, whether or not you forgive those who harmed you

My book, You Don’t Need to Forgive: Trauma Recovery on Your Own Terms, will be released by Broadleaf Books in February 2025.

ORDER HERE: Broadleaf Books