Rare day off…

I don’t think I’ll apologize for my lack of articles. But it did surprise me to see how long it has been since I shared an update.

Solo caregiving is a tough gig. As Dave has lost much of his communication capabilities, it pains me to see his world shrink. He no longer reads books or even his phone. He sometimes scrolls through his news app and is disturbed by the headlines. (As are we all!)

I am super grateful for his high school friend who consistently does FaceTime calls with him, and for our neighbors who go out for a quiet lunch with us at a local restaurant on the occasional Saturday.

Home caregivers have been mostly a miss for us. Their availability doesn’t really provide respite for me (day shifts are not helpful) and their presence annoys Dave. We have had someone coming (when they don’t cancel) two times per week, from 10 am to 2 pm. I have not been impressed with this person’s ability to proactively help or even use basic techniques to connect with and manage Dave. I suspect no training as an issue. And yes I’ve discussed this with the agency. It seems that many of these folks are just really expensive babysitters (going rate is $38 per hour) with no dementia expertise.

It’s a tough thing because most people are only available to socialize in early evenings, and that really is the worst time for Dave. Sundowning starts for us around 4 p.m. and goes until he is in bed around 7:30 p.m.

I haven’t left the house without Dave since I hired a caregiver to cover me during a neighborhood Bunco night. When I think about the fact that it cost $160 for that excursion, it really wasn’t worth it!

And honestly, the coverage has been so inconsistent that I worry about trying to schedule a real appointment, such as a hair appointment or nails or anything personal.

See this photo of my grown out hair and self managed bangs. 😉

Work has been insane, on so many levels. While this is normal in the corporate setting, it can be a challenge when I’m sleep deprived and stressed out.

Last year, after a short staycation at a rental with the most amazing screened in porch, I hired a local person to extend our roof in the back and build a low maintenance screened in porch of our own. We are currently enjoying it right now, me in my hammock and Dave on a sofa.

It is a favorite spot for all us, including the cats. 😻😻 Sometimes I set up my laptop on a table out there and Dave naps on the sofa while I work.

This year I added bird feeders in the tiny garden next to the porch, and their chirps have been a source of delight for all of us.

Occasionally, a family member or friend will ask me what’s the plan for the future. I honestly don’t know. I guess it is to keep Dave at home until the end, if I can. He has become such a poor eater that I am certain he will starve to death at a memory care facility. (Look it up, apparently it is a thing!)

Take care, everyone! We’ve got this 🙃