The Borat Agreements

News of the fresh military alliance between Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Turkey caught me completely prepared. After all, in the past 3 years that we have been looking closely at West Asia, the 3 regimes have been consistently reactionary and subservient to the US and Israel, offering nothing but lip service in protest of the Gaza Holocaust and Israel’s regional mass murder spree.

We are not surprised in the least at the behavior of these slavish, comically cunning lot, but this latest development does bring to the foreground an emerging trend,which is precisely the opposite of what the 3 signatories sought to achieve.

See, more than anything, the Borat Agreements put on display how insecure and anxious the dimwitted colonial relics in the region are in the face of Iran’s (and the greater Axis of Resistance) disruptive, ground-shaking energy and potency.

I mean: it should be obvious that this pact is directed at Iran and the Axis, and not Israel or the US.

But what can they offer that will put the lid on the liberating gospel of the Islamic Republic? Can the walls of the Sunni Bastille withstand the explosive power of the Shia anti colonial revolutionaries? Of course not. It is all kalam fadi.

The actors of the stage would have us believe that, working together, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Turkey represent a mighty hurdle to undesired regional changes.

Pakistan will provide cheap labor; Saudi Arabia will take care of finances, and Turkey will give it all a fake-white, European facade and some drones, and so this new trifacta will have it all: people, money, weaponry and a proper colonial architecture, mashaAllah.

The only (funny) problem is that the source of capital for this quixotic new venture can be brought to a decidedly cinematic end at any given moment, courtesy of the latest (and quite fashionable) collection of projectiles independently produced in abundance by the very same people whose aspirations it purports to curtail.

In other words: 2 hours of FIDE (Focused Iranian Decolonization Effort) will bring the total revenue stream of this newly-announced alliance to an overbearingly uncomfortable 0.

Saudi Arabia cannot withstand an attack by the Axis; once it is out of the game (which will happen whenever Iran decides it should be so), Turkey and Pakistan will not even have enough money to drive their tanks and pick up trucks to the Iranian border.

And that’s the sad bit of this comedy: Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are failed, hardly functional states where illegitimate and unelected regimes hold power through the threat of violence against the people. Turkey is and fares much better compared to the other two, but it still lags behind OECD countries in many important factors, and offers very low social mobility to its citizens.

Still, Turkey cannot contain itself, under Erdogan’s leadership, from again and again partaking in military adventures and geopolitical shenanigans in which the people of Turkey have no interest and no stake. From sending drones to Ukraine to invading Syria together with Israel, or trying to assist the American invasion of Iraq in 2003, and brandishing a dumb, pompous and duplicit nationalistic political brand, Turkey does give one the notion that it is being led by a full Borat.

And now, in an effort to keep the US and Israel-friendly hegemony in West Asia in place, Turkey joins two of the most unpopular and undemocratic regimes in the region, which have virtually 0 chances of surviving long-term.

What will Turkey do when it is disconnected from Gulf money by an energetic and fabulously kinetic Iran? What will it tell its people when it has clearly, again and again, chose the interests of Western and Jewish capital over the will of the people of the region, and the political will of Turkish people themselves?

We have all seenhow Turkey has chosen Israel over Palestine and US imperialism over independence, right?

This phenomenon is not unique to Turkey: Indonesia is another clear example, and so is the Philippines, and, sure enough, Pakistan, and Ukraine (among others). There is an entire group of nations that could and should be instrumental in the global struggle for freedom and dignity (namely, Yankee, go home), but choose instead to function as guardians of that same order.