HOW TO BUILD AN ARCHIVE WITHOUT BEING A HOARDER

As you can imagine, editing a closet can be really emotionally vulnerable. In doing this job for so long and having the privilege to meet so many people and see so many closets, I have learned about the gentleness and kindness required to go into these delicate spaces. It is funny, I think that a lot of media has constructed our understanding of FASHION and a STYLIST as this clownish idea of a bitchy woman (or gay guy!) telling you that something is OUT and that you MUST get rid of it. It has positioned the idea of closet editing and styling as more of a makeover process where you are quite literally forced to throw out who you were / what you bought / what you love in exchange for the industry’s idea of cool / fashionable / sexy. Of course, in my sessions there is always a pretty miraculous before and after, but it is not the result of a harsh overhaul.

You might think that the best way to take control of your closet and your personal style is to get forceful. To get in there and be brutal. If a piece does not align with the person that you want to be, it has to get gone! But it is actually quite the opposite... and being harsh does not actually lead to an authentic wardrobe.

This is one of the reasons that I find the NOT NOW pile of the AB Closet Editing System to be so important. In case you are new, in my Closet Editing System, I have you take out all the NEVERS, which are pieces that you NEVER wear. You then organize them into three piles. The NO pile contains pieces that you never wear because they do not fit, they do not serve you, and you really just don’t want to wear them. I did a deep dive into that pile (and what it is trying to tell us!) HERE. The next pile within the NEVERS is the NOT NOW pile. And this pile is often the trickiest.

When I conceived of this idea, the NOT NOW pile was meant to be a place to put all of the things that you don’t wear on a daily basis but also don’t want to get rid of. For example, pieces worn for special occasions, maternity or postpartum clothes, or even resort wear. In my dreams, we all walk into our closets and really SEE our style. And sometimes these more specific things will cloud that vision or force us to sift through things that we are rarely wearing.

However, I realized that the NOT NOW pile is also a really helpful tool for clients who are having a hard time purging and saying goodbye to things. In the spirit of softness, I wanted to be able to give these clients a safe in-between space. Essentially, a holding pattern before things get sold or donated. Because sometimes we are just not ready. And I think that is okay.

I personally have a shopping bag that lives in my closet where I will put the pieces that I always try to make work but never actually wear. Or things that are uncomfortable or that I do wear but wish I didn’t. It feels like a good way to have these things out of view but not out of the closet. I like to have them folded in the bag as opposed to in a section of my closet still on a hanger. This way, they are out of sight, and eventually I feel fine purging them because I forgot they existed. But I digress (shocking!).

Another function of this NOT NOW pile is to act as a personal archive or a place to mint future heirlooms. But this is where it can get a little tricky if we are not careful. And believe it or not, this is what the newsletter is about.

How do we create a meaningful personal archive without keeping unnecessary shit? And how can we shop in a way that is in service of our daily wardrobe while still being a lover and collector of beautiful things?

This has come up A LOT in styling sessions but also a lot in my own life, especially recently. And I have had to really sit down and think about the advice I give to clients and look through my own “archive” to see what I can learn. And to be honest, I was actually kind of surprised with what I discovered because it kind of goes against everything that we have been taught about “investing” and “timelessness.” It even goes against things I have said in the past! But what is better than gaining more insight and changing your views?! Nothing. So here we go!

I talk about things I rarely purge in this honker of a newsletter HERE, but I wanted to get deeper and more specific. I also photographed everything in my “archive” at home but also at my parent’s house (thanks, Mom!) because I think it is fun to see. Will do a LIVE for paid subscribers and take you through the archive as well in the next few days.

This does not mean that we need to save everything that we have that was expensive or everything that is designer (more on that below). And it also does not mean that we need to save the most TIMELESS pieces from a designer (for example, if you have a really fun bag from a specific collection but not the black Chanel flap bag… that’s okay. Better even?). This is all about saving designer pieces that speak to you.

I always think about the Chanel Dallas collection. It was amazing. I could not afford anything from it at the time (and can’t afford anything on the resale market from this collection either, actually!), but it was a true favorite of mine. If I would have had the means to purchase a handbag from that collection, you better believe I would still have it. It might not have been the most “timeless,” and I might have put it away for a few years, but it would have been something that I held onto and cherished. Because it spoke to me and I loved it.

This can also extend to any piece, not just Chanel. Remember when Isabel Marant did a collaboration with H&M? It was one of their first designer collabs, and I was first in line to be able to afford something from my boho queen. I bought these sequin leggings, which feel SO Isabel Marant. And so “of the times”. I held onto those. If I would have gotten the plain “leather” (plastic) leggings, I probably would have worn them more than the sequin, but I also would have probably gotten sick of them, or worn through them, or (most realistically) upgraded them when I could afford something nicer. Same with the shawl collar blazer. It was great, I wanted it for sure, but I feel like that didn’t have the same gravitas or, weirdly, the same staying power in my wardrobe (let me repeat… MY wardrobe) because I would have upgraded it. You can always get a black blazer, but you can’t always get sequin leggings.

I also really like to keep things that are SO a designer. I got a Burberry bikini when I was in high school, and that is something that I will never let go of. Of course, I can buy the same exact one today, but that is what makes it so fun. It is a TRUE classic. Not a “timeless piece,” but a classic of the designer. Also, I bought a Burberry bucket hat after I saw a really cool girl wearing one when I was in 8th grade. I didn’t have the means for one, so my grandma and I went to a flea market when I visited her in Florida, and we found a knockoff. It looked so bad on me. I loved it.

I actually find that these designer hallmarks end up coming back around as well. My mom had a Gucci bag from the Tom Ford era that she got at a consignment store and that they just remade for about 4X the price. I do not shop and collect with the intention of “investing” or “reselling,” but it is interesting to note that these really designer-defining pieces often come back. Same with a Saint Laurent jacket that I got for 70% off! They have remade it so many times since! Which is why they are worth hanging onto!

Another that falls into this category is my KATE SPADE bag. Talk about designer highlight! I also would maybe call this “an ode to an era” and “sentimental” (more on that below) because it was so special to me, and it is what I wore to every Bar or Bat Mitzvah from 2000 to 2004. It was very much a designer-defining bag. Also, now that I am looking at mine, I think it could be fake from that same Floridian flea market that I went to with my grandma. @mom, please confirm?!

Or the Khaite belt or THE Khaite Cardigan... I am not sure I want to wear that right now, but I know that it will be fun and a throwback eventually!

I also save all of my wacky vintage and new silk YSL blouses. I have spent so much money on them at thrift and vintage stores, and I hope that if I have a daughter (or if Jack likes them!) that she will find them fun. Again, the tops themselves are not necessarily timeless, but they are very much a hallmark of the YSL brand. They are actually VERY timestamped if you think about it!! You can tell exactly what era they are from!! Which I actually think is so much more valuable to pass down. I don’t want things from my mom or grandma that are neither “here nor there.” I want something that feels SO 90’s or SO 60’s… you know?? That brings me to my next category…..

Here is where the “anti-timelessness” comes into play. I think it is interesting to think about pieces that feel SO rooted in a specific moment and how those are the things that actually come back around. For example, I saved my FIRST pair of designer jeans that I got in Aspen and were so ungodly expensive. I think this qualifies as a sentimental piece, but also I saved this specific pair because they feel SO early 2000’s. And how fun is that to revisit?! In fact, I actually just tried the new Still Here jeans, which really remind me of that era. Also, just a note, I did not save EVERY pair of low rise designer jeans that I owned (and I owned a lot because I worked at a high end denim store through high school). I just kept one pair. Just one. I think that is where we also get into trouble. I have long since donated my Miss Sixty jeans and True Religions, but keeping one… my first pair… feels like a great snapshot.

I think in terms of saving and archiving, we actually want the things that feel really specific. I have some 90’s leather jackets from my mom (from Banana Republic and Gap that are insanely good quality) that feel very 90’s in the best way. When I am shopping for vintage, I want the piece to look vintage and to be an ode to an era. I don’t want to buy a silk blouse that feels like it could be from anywhere or anytime; I want one that feels uniquely 70’s. So I want my own archive to feel the same way. A collection of all of the people that I have been and how I have evolved over the years.

I tend to hold onto vintage pieces just because they do not feel so “easy come, easy go,” and they usually have a memory or a story. I just want to note, though, this does not mean that you need to over-index on vintage because you will “never find it again!” But I do think there is something special with vintage that always comes back around (duh). I also find that vintage pieces tend to be emotional. Something that speaks to you as opposed to something you are looking for / wanting to check off a list. Due to the nature of vintage and thrift stores, you are kind of just going in with the intention of being inspired and waiting to see what calls to you. So I usually find that my vintage pieces are a little more of the FULL BODY YES than anything I can rationalize.

That being said, if something doesn’t fit or is not actually something you would even conceivably wear… it’s not worth owning. While we want to curate a closet of fabulous treasures, this isn’t a museum. Fashion is wearable art, and I think that we need to remember the wearable part. I have had really cool jackets that I have collected over the years and subsequently let go of simply because they were “cool” or “good finds” but not actually my style. While our “archive” is probably less cohesive than our closet, it should still feel like a collage or an ode to YOU. I don’t find it useful to hold onto things that I would never want to wear. And moreover, if I am passing down a piece to an heir or a relative, I want to give them things that feel special to me. That is part of the fun.

As you are reading this, I am sure you can either identify yourself as someone who is sentimental with clothing or someone who is not. I have had clients show me the shoes that they wore to their wedding and want to get rid of them, and clients who refuse to edit something that they wore on the first date with their partner. It runs the gamut. If you are not necessarily a sentimental person, then there is no reason to save things, but I think if you have a strong emotional attachment to something and don’t want to give it up… don’t.

I worked with a music executive a few years ago that had merch from every single artist’s tour that he worked with. And it was all in his closet even though he never actually wore it. Instead of having those things take up real estate, we got a keepsake box and made an archive of all the great merch. I would NEVER suggest he get rid of it, but I do find that these sentimental pieces can live in an archive (a box, a guest room closet, a clothing rack in your basement) instead of in your closet. That being said, if you have an amazing piece that brings you joy and memories and it makes you happy to see it every day… keep it in that closet!!!!

This might be controversial, but I have noticed a theme in closet editing sessions where clients will want to get rid of something that feels “old” even if they haven’t worn it a lot. Often, they will get sick of just seeing it hanging in their closet, and it feels sort of shopworn and sad, but there is actually nothing wrong with it. It is maybe “old to you,” but often that is a good piece. Of course, there are exceptions, and this one is a little less easy to identify, but I think it is just worth mentioning!!

I feel like it happens a lot with prints. I have had this one Khaite top that I only wear occasionally, but since it is printed, it really stands out in my wardrobe in a way that makes it feel very present. So in a way, I feel like it has been with me forever, and I get sick of seeing it. But when it comes down to it, I really love it and love the print and WANT to wear it again. I recently put this in my “archive” and am so happy I did instead of ditching it completely. It will feel fresh again to me when I do not have to see it shouting at me among my plain solid-color blouses! *edit, I actually wore it the other day and was so happy (image below!)

I am a really, really gentle editor. I actually don’t care how much you have in your wardrobe, as long as it feels functional and easy for you to get dressed. Which means that I am more than happy to have you keep pieces that just feel… beautiful. I find that impractical but beautiful shoes can feel like works of art. If you don’t wear them but love to see them in your closet, god bless! Keep them! If it makes you feel happy and it is not making life or getting dressed more challenging, you should hold onto it. Fashion is amazing and beautiful and wonderful, and it is worth having some reminders of that! (That being said, we don’t want to shop with the intention of NEVER wearing something and having it just be an art piece like I explained earlier), but if you have shoes that are from a different time in your life and add a little glamour to the situation, those can stay.

I have said this before but jewelry is so easy to save and it always comes back around. Think of all of the fun costume jewelry that your grandma has! I want to be that grandma!!!! The things that you save do not have to be expensive, how much fun would your kids have with a J.Crew statement necklace!?!

I talk about this in the purging newsletter, but this is also a category that I am really lenient with. I find that outerwear is always fun to pass down because the sizing is also way less specific… it can be a little fitted, it can be a little oversized. I was given one of my aunt’s leather jackets when I was in elementary school, and it was def big on me, but boy did I love it. I think we still need to have a critical eye on these coats and jackets, but if you are on the fence… maybe keep?!

There has been a lot of talk about patina on substack and basically that is all about clothes looking worn. Which is a great thing. We want our clothes to look like they have been lived in and worn and loved! That being said, some things age better than others! Leather jackets, leather boots, belts, denim! All things that look better with age!!!!

This is of course case by case and this is why I do one-on-one sessions but just giving some general tips and notes! Do not live and die by these (or anything I say!). But here are some “excuses” I hear when someone wants to hold onto something and I think they should let go!

Just because something is a designer brand, it does not mean that it is worth keeping. I get it, as someone who has coveted clothes and been obsessed with designers her entire life, it feels crazy to get rid of something that is fancy (whether it is a new designer piece, something thrifted, or something vintage…). If it is not something that you actually WANT TO WEAR, you really don’t need it.

I understand that sometimes things are hard to part with if they have a great label, but as a fashion-lover, I always just think that the piece would be so much happier if it was owned and worn by someone who loves it and will give it a good life.

Not all designer pieces are worth saving! There isn’t really a rubric to follow to assess if it is worth it or not, but the main thing I ask my clients is this: if it wasn’t a designer or a “good brand,” would I still keep this piece? If I had no idea what the label said, would it deserve space in my closet??

Another valid point, but I always think about this in terms of value. Okay, you already spent a lot of money on it. That money is gone, we aren’t getting it back. Is this piece more valuable sitting unworn in your closet? Or is it worth consigning it and getting some money for it? Or is it worth giving it to a friend or donating it because they will value it and love it? I often get the complaint that re-selling or consigning never feels worth it, but I always say I am making NO money with it sitting there unworn, and even a fraction of what it is worth is more than nothing.

Unfortunately, besides really specific high-end designer pieces, clothes are not necessarily good investments (even if we tell ourselves they are). The minute you take it out of the store and rip off those tags, the piece is worth less. And if you find yourself constantly feeling ripped off by the resale sites when you sell things, maybe you need to use that as fuel to think through your purchases better. (Harsh, but true!!).

And you probably never will. Again, go back to my refrain: “DO I WANT TO WEAR THIS?” If you want to wear it, you would have. And if you haven’t and it has been sitting collecting dust, just say bye!

I often look at this as a gift I am giving myself. I find that things that sit in my closet unworn feel like they are tormenting me and reminding me that I made a bad purchase. I don’t want that. I am the queen of my castle, and if something feels like it is torturing me when I look at it, I can get rid of it.

Of course, if it is a piece for a specific event or something you WANT TO WEAR but haven’t had the opportunity, that is a different story. But the excuse that you haven’t worn it is not a reason to hold onto it!

I have a very specific take on gifts. I think that everything in our wardrobe should feel really consciously chosen. We should be like a really, really strict doorman to our closet. We have standards. When we buy something for ourselves, we typically have an intention (I hope) and a vision for how we will wear it. When someone else gifts you a piece that was not chosen by you, it can feel a bit like a puzzle piece from a different puzzle. You are trying to work it in, but it might not actually fit.

If it is sentimental, of course, we keep it. But if it is something that we didn’t even choose for ourselves, it is just a burden that we are now trying to make work.

I had a client who showed me a piece that her sister gave her. It basically hit all of the boxes (designer, expensive, unworn, and a gift). She said she was trying to make it work, but when she looked at it, she was like, “Why is this here?” Even though it wasn’t like a glaring departure from her normal style, it just felt foreign because she was not the one to bring it in. These things can GO!

I know it is SO annoying to say, but you need to buy things that you genuinely love. You should not be shopping with the intention of passing something down or because it is timeless or because you think it is a good investment. You have to actually like it and want to wear it. Even if it is an insane piece that you won’t wear all the time, you have to want to wear it. Or else, what the hell are we doing here?

A FEW THINGS ON MY “LOVE IT” LIST:

This is a tip I talk about often, but I find that the things that stick around in people’s wardrobes are not the “dupes” or the approximations. They are the actual thing that they desired. I always try to gut-check myself by asking myself if this is the piece that I will want to put away but then bring back out next time the trend comes around. I am old at this point, so I have seen things cycle through relevancy. I have used this as an example, but think it’s a good one, so will use it again. I had these amazing Alexander Wang studded mules in 2015 that were amazing. They were so specific and, in terms of studded shoes, they were “the one” that I wanted. I wore the hell out of them—so much so that they actually broke—but if they hadn’t, those would have been amazing to save and to break out when everyone else was wearing their studded shoes last summer. Maybe it is not a great example because they did break from wear and tear, but at the time they really felt like “the one.” And not just a close version. If I would have gotten something similar but not quite it, those would have definitely not made it to the archive (again, neither did the Wang, but they COULD HAVE!).

One of the worst things a piece can be is “neither here nor there.” We need it to be saying something. Of course, a white t-shirt or basics are great, but these are not the things that we are ‘archiving’ and saving for our future children, so that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the things that commit!!!

Thank you to Tory Burch for making this newsletter available to all. I did a really, really fun LIVE where I styled the new collection! It was so fun, I want to do this more often because it really was a blast (and I hope it felt helpful and gave some good styling ideas!)

For paid subscribers, don’t worry, you will still get extra content! I am going to do a LIVE just for paid subscribers (honestly, best $8 you will ever spend, if I do say so myself!)! I will do a show and tell and major Q&A! In fact, if you want, add questions in the COMMENTS! Sometimes when I am live, I get caught up and forget to look at the chat, so feel free to add anything here that you want to see, know, or want me to address! And I will DO IT!!!!!