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a blog by bekah

A small place to keep record of my thoughts, ideas, goals, and discoveries as I seek to reclaim creativity and rediscover self+world ☔ Lives in a certain m...

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Latest posts

Train thoughts

I take the light rail train to work and back every day. Usually five days a week. My commute is about 50-55 minutes, with about 20 minutes of that on the train (the rest, walking). When we first transitioned from 3 days to 5 days required in office, it was a real drag. The hard fact of spending ten hours of my life commuting every week felt like carrying a cinder block around. Do I need to find a…

toward the end

What a drab year it has been. I went on two lovely vacations but aside from that, it feels like I've just been surviving. A sizable portion of the drab-ness seems fairly attributable to the overall political, social, and economic mood of the times. Still, I have a nagging suspicion that a not insignificant part is also contained within myself—my attitudes about what I want to do and how I want to…

Early web memories

I came across this Bear Blog Carnival topic on early web memories , and was immediately inspired to write. My early web memories center around a few charming little areas I revisit with fondness. And with no small amount of nostalgia for an internet that I assumed had been forever lost, but which I'm happy to be discovering attempts at remembering and reviving in lots of charming little ways . One…

Another unclogging

A recent post by combatdavey has me further reflecting on creativity and what fosters it: I used to think that no good creative work came from happiness but that's nonsense fed to guys like me between the ages of 16-25 to justify all kinds of self-obsession, self-destruction, and self-aggrandizement. The view from middle age is different. It is informed by experience and by trying a lot of things…

Re-energy

As is custom, the waning of the brutal heat gives me a new lease on life and I suddenly find the willpower to say 'yes' to things, get cracking on the things I've been procrastinating on, and feel like I can look head on into the future without being painfully blinded by the bright light (of the literal SUN! I admit I may be part vampire). The next few months seem busy. I agreed to join some work…

The final spritz of the summer

It is my favorite time of year. The weather is tolerable once again. When I arrive home in the afternoons from my walk-train-walk commute I am not sweating (although I still feel a little too warm, waiting for about 5-10° F cooler temperatures). The mornings are blissfully brisk and the sun is starting to rise later and drop earlier. The coffee shops are proudly announcing their seasonal…

Consumption vs creation, and making camp in a corner of the web

I've been in a consumption slump for way too long. I've never been one to be easily addicted. Sometimes I develop short-term addictions to things, but am able to drop something with relative ease once I realize it's bad for me or just get bored with it. My current problem is wasting too much time consuming things of varying value—articles about work-tangential topics, TV shows and movies, random…

To "just doing things"

There's some feeling of fear with some sprinkling of imposter syndrome as I type with the intent to publish something on the internet. To be honest with you, aside from pithy social media posts, I haven't done this since the days of Livejournal. Maybe the fear comes from remembering when I dug up my old LJ and withered from embarrassment at the still-publicly-available evidence of my naive teenage…