Reading · Doing Life Well

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-5:35

I’ve spent the past few weeks staring at my computer, unsure which part of building this app I should focus on first.

There are so many moving parts and questions to answer when it comes to building an app, and the more I stared at the screen, the more the words began to look like a foreign language.

It also doesn’t help that during this time, I also found myself navigating:

School closures and an on-and-off-again sick kid
Doctor appointments with my mom
Trying to keep up with my own content calendar and get videos recorded for YouTube
Pushing myself physically as I get closer to wrapping up this 100-day challenge
And mentally feeling wiped out from participating in Lent (this season always leaves me feeling drained)

But despite knowing that I was on the struggle bus, I still stared at my never-ending project list in pure confusion and tried to get a grip on what was next.

I found myself at one point feeling so exhausted that I broke down crying in a booth at Panera Bread. To which my sister had to call me and talk me out of the panic attack I felt brewing under the surface.

So I prayed. I prayed and asked God for a break. Not just a day off from work or a few hours to myself, I asked for a few consecutive days of nothing. A few days where no one was calling my name, no one was begging to be walked or fed, no one was crying, or asking for snacks. And nowhere to be. A few days where I could just go at my own pace and find peace in the silence.

What I had intended with that prayer was a vacation. You know, a few days on a beautiful beach where the warm sun literally healed my nervous system. But what I got was a cold and a double ear infection. 🙃

Let this serve as a reminder to be very specific about what you pray and ask God for because He definitely has a unique sense of humor.

Nevertheless, I was forced into the break that I had begged for. And not a work from bed type of rest, an actual sleep while my body healed itself type of rest.

I slept on and off for four days straight.

A hard sleep that I haven’t experienced in a really long time. Granted, I was highly medicated these few days but I could tell just how much my body needed to just lay there without an agenda. On some days, I felt enough energy to stretch or do a quick restorative yoga session. I even ventured out and took a short walk just to feel the sun on my skin. But for the most part, I just laid there.

My household also cooperated with me for the most part.

Yesterday, as I rose out of my medicated hase, I felt like life was worth living again. I felt energized, a lot less foggy, and excited to get back to work.

And sure enough, I sat down at my desk and looked at that same to-do list that was haunting me just a few days before and it was like I could see clearly for the first time.

You know that scene in the movie “Limitless” where he sits down to write his book and all of a sudden the words began to pour out of him? That was me.

Those few moments of clarity showed me that a lot of times, it’s not that we’re confused or don’t know where to start. We know what we need to do. And if we don’t, it typically isn’t too hard to figure it out. It’s the fact that we’re simply tired. We’ve already pushed our minds and our body’s to their capacity so when we get that feeling of confusion, that’s just one of the many ways that our body tries to tell us that it needs a break.

And sometimes, a few hours isn’t enough. We need a real break where our mind, body, and nervous system all have a chance to recharge.

I believe this confusion is one of the many signs we see before we actually hit burnout. It’s that silent alarm that our body sends off to let us know that we are entering the danger zone and that we need to pull back before we cause major damage.

Those feelings of confusion or frustration are our own inner red flags.

So the next time your brain feels foggy, you feel confused, or find yourself struggling to create a decent thought, I want you to ask yourself, “When was the last time that I had a true break?” Not a lunch break. Not starting your day an hour later. I’m talking a real break where you do nothing.

Don’t be like me and get to a point where your body forces you to shut down.

These reminders are also why DEW exists. I want to help more women get a better understanding of their capacity on an on-going basis so that they can spot the signs of burnout early, and course correct before it gets too serious.

You can sign up for the DEW app waitlist at the link below!

It’s your turn: How do you know when your body is craving rest? How do you honor what it needs? Let me know in the comments.

Issue #110: You're Not Confused, You're Tired

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