Death, Could You Not? 😂

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Why do all the BEST people keep dying? Seriously, who’s running the schedule up there—a drunk intern with a grudge?

First, it was David Ker — the man the Telegraph once called London’s most famous “un-famous” person, which is exactly the kind of title you earn by prank-calling Lady Astor as “Kevin from Didcot” while pretending to answer her ad for a tennis instructor, only to inform her that middle-aged women find you simply irresistible “après-tennis.”

She eventually cottoned on and told him: “Fuck off, Dave!”

That’s how good he was.

Known for his elaborate practical jokes, Ker’s mimicry was so notorious that when David Cameron rang an eminent woman to offer her a seat in the House of Lords, she also told the future Prime Minister of England to “Fuck off, Dave,” which I’m sure was confusing for everyone involved.

Dave Ker was born posh, became delightfully, ridiculously fat (double cream on cornflakes will do that), and wielded snobbery like a performance art piece. He carried business cards that he would give to sententious, pontificating gasbags that read: STOP TALKING.

And, of course, any man who meets David Beckham and opens with, “Remind me what it is you do, again?” is a national treasure. Or at least he was.

And now he’s gone.

Then—and this one breaks truly, horribly, close-to-home — Alice Wong.

Alice, who emailed with us only last week about Unfixed giveaways.
Alice, who kept showing the world what disability justice looks like when it’s done with fire, humor, community, and zero apology.
Alice, whose mind could cut steel and whose heart stitched whole movements together.

A MacArthur Genius.
Founder of the Disability Visibility Project.
Writer of Year of the Tiger.
A “disabled cyborg” by her own wry description.
A woman who turned activism into art and art into survival.

Her friends called her a luminary.
Her readers called her a lifeline.
Her family said she’ll be remembered as “a fierce luminary… a brilliant writer, editor, and community organizer.”

I’ll remember her as someone who loved loudly — in the way that actually rearranges people’s lives. The way that leaves channels open long after the body is gone.

She once wrote:

“The real gift any person can give is a web of connective tissue… glowing from the warmth of memories.”

And now mine are glowing like a goddamn neon sign. I couldn’t have written any of my own work on epilepsy without Alice.

So, I don’t know what to make of a universe that keeps pulling the brightest, funniest, most necessary people off the stage, right when we need them most.

All I know is this:

If life is a comedy, death ruins the punch line every time.
If life is a drama, death keeps stealing all the wrong characters. I mean, hello? Choose the evil guy, for once!
And if life is a heist movie, death is the bozo who runs off with the crown jewels before anyone from the Now You See Me gang can stop him. And that’s a movie we’ve all seen.

Today, I’m grieving two originals—a much-needed prankster duke-wannabe with a pocketful of punchlines, and a disability-justice warrior whose voice reached farther than her body ever could.

May their jokes and their joy keep haunting us.
May their work and their mischief outlive all our grief.
And may we please, for once, get a cosmic break from losing the people who make this world brighter, weirder, kinder.

Because honestly? We’re all a little fed up with the universe’s HR department.
Death needs to take a personal day.

Now, on a cheerier note, I’m reading the most hilarious book by ex-Vogue staffer Caroline Palmer. If you yearn to escape our current ‘nightmare of infinite stupid’, of ‘relentlessly gold-plated tacky garbage’, and return to the glories of Manhattan in the 90s, this juicy tome is for you. It’s laugh-out-loud pitch perfect…

On another more chipper note, even though it gives us the “ick” to whorishly self-promote… we’re beyond thrilled to report that Unfixed has been selling at daily levels well within the national bestseller range. We still have much work to do. We launch in the UK next week. Gaaaah!! And then, we’re also teeing up Empress Express Unfixed packs to go out… Part of our inspiration for this project comes from the remarkable Helen C Stark and the way she gorgeously annotates, sketches, and paints in her journals.

As we soldier on, here’s a sneak peek at our Spring list…

Lastly, if you’re in the Miami area this week, Empress author Margie Zable Fisher will be speaking at the Miami Book Fair on Saturday, November 22, at 1 pm. Tickets are $12 and can be purchased here. You can also pre-order your special Galentine’s Day edition of The Cabernet Club from just about anywhere here. More to come on each title as we get closer.

Yours, in galleys and gratitude - xoxo - gotham girl

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PS - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.