“Can you stay for a few more minutes so we can chat?”
The hospital social worker looked at me from across the little exam room, her mouth agape (I don’t love the word “agape” for some reason), with a somewhat exasperated look on her face as my oncologist moved on to her next patient.
We’d just spent an hour — my oncologist, the social worker, and me — in my appointment sandwiched between labs and my next stop at the infusion center, where I’d get my Herceptin/Perjeta “Phesgo” shot and my Zoladex injection.
For me, it was a usual Dartmouth Day: a Tuesday up in Lebanon, NH, where I spend hours every three weeks alternating between chatting with various doctors and getting poked, and trying desperately to get my phone and / or computer to connect to New Hampshire’s Least Reliable WiFi.
It was a typical appointment with the oncologist, except for the fact that she’d asked the social worker to join us this time. (Details here are less important, but the last few weeks got a bit, I’ll say, heightened. A few procedural things came up that I didn’t agree with or understand, and I had to advocate pretty hard for myself. Now we have a third party present at appointments! I love this social worker, though. I first met her as a member of my care team back in 2023, and she’s a lovely mix of therapist / shoulder to lean and cry on / liaison between various departments at the hospital / additional support person. She gets shit done. She is so compassionate. I love her.)
We spent an hour furiously covering every base. We talked about how I’m feeling on this treatment regimen: exhausted, achy, fine enough, better than when I was on chemo, constantly asking “Is it a hot flash or just summertime in New Hampshire?” and also “Did I gain 40 lbs. overnight or is it bloating, and either way is it from the medication — and which medication? — or did I eat too much cheese for dinner…again?”
And then we spent the majority of our time together managing schedules.
My oncologist had her laptop open, and was writing additional notes on a piece of paper. I was alternating between my Google Calendar on my computer and the Notes app in my phone.
I take multiple pills daily: blood thinners 2x/day; exemestane every morning; and Palbociclib every morning for three weeks, followed by one week off. I have to do additional labs and meet with the oncologist at the start of every four-week Palbo cycle so they can give me the “OK to Treat.”
I go to Dartmouth in Lebanon every three weeks for labs, a meeting with my oncologist, and my Herceptin/Perjeta injection.
I go to Dartmouth in Manchester every four weeks for my Zoladex shot.
I get a Zometa (bone strengthener) infusion every 12 weeks.
I get a PET scan every three months.
My stomach is being a little bitch, so my doctors want me getting a colonoscopy, which we scheduled for the end of summer.
And in 10 days, I’m having surgery: a prophylactic laparoscopic bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy.
I was putting constant reminders in my G-Cal: when to stop taking the blood thinners before surgery, when to pause the Palbociclib before surgery, and when to resume. When to get labs before surgery, and when to follow up to make sure the labs had been processed and that there’s no chance of unread labs delaying surgery (assuming labs are fine, which they currently are).
We had to completely change all of my already-scheduled upcoming appointments because of surgery and the colonoscopy and having to hold certain medications so as not to interfere with whatever else. The schedule I have managed meticulously, and that I have artfully arranged in accordance with parenting schedules, summer vacation time, and various additional work and personal commitments.
It was a lot to cover, but we got it done, and I closed my laptop, ready to head to the infusion center where, in a perfect world, Nurse Lauren would be assigned to me for the day. (She was! Yay!)
The social worker was floored. She was downright astonished at all that we’d just gone through, and wanted to process it in real-time with me.
“I’m never actually in these appointments,” she said. “I have no idea how you are managing all of this. It is a lot, Ali.”
It was unbelievably validating.
I almost cried, but didn’t have time. Gotta stay on schedule!
I have been powering through, relentlessly, since getting diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023.
I have not taken breaks and I have not gone easy on myself. I have managed my calendar (and Annie’s), and I’ve never missed an appointment. I’ve only missed one pill (it’s fine) along the way.
It’s my New Normal. It is what it is. I’m not complaining. (I’m complaining a little, but I’m probably just hungry.) But I’ll be honest, it’s kind of nice to hear someone look at some of what’s on my plate and acknowledge that it is A Lot.
So it’s fine. And I’m fine. And it’s a lot!
Amidst all of that scheduling: an upcoming out-of-office response.
I’m taking next week off to spend time with Annie before my surgery. And then, on July 20, I’ll take a very good nap, and I’ll wake up without ovaries or fallopian tubes.
Let’s…have some fun?
This week on the Ali on the Run Show:
Alyssa McElheny, Hyrox World Champion & OTQ Marathoner: I love thinking about what it must be like to try something and immediately be awesome at it. Enter Alyssa McElheny, who had a longtime goal of getting an Olympic Trials qualifying time in the marathon. After a few attempts, she nailed the goal, running 2:34 at Indy Monumental, and then decided to try a Hyrox Mixed Doubles event. She crushed it. And now she’s the Hyrox Elite 15 World Champion. Heck of a trajectory!
Reading:
Kelly Hogan is a registered dietitian and was one of my very first running friends. We met during the Golden Age of running blogs ~2010! I loved this piece she wrote about advocating for yourself in medical environments. Super helpful.
Wearing:
This onesie. I’m so comfortable. I look ridiculous. But I’m happy.
Ali elsewhere:
Off the rails, with Eric Jenkins. Recording a podcast. It was so fun getting to sub in for the queen Aisha Praught Leer during her much-deserved time off. I didn’t expect to talk about ham so much, but here we are.
I am so grateful for the wonderful brands and partners I get to work with on the Ali on the Run Show. Supporting them = supporting me!
Shokz: Click here and use code ALI for $10 off your next purchase.
Lagoon: Click here to get my favorite pillows (I sleep on the Otter every night), and use code ALI for 15% off.
New Balance: Click here to shop New Balance’s latest releases for the season.
Oofos: Click here to check out the new Club+ line. Comfy and supportive = a dream!
Vuori: Click here for 20% off your first Vuori order.
Take good care of yourselves. Take good care of each other. Be the good. Have some fun.
(You’ve got this. You’re doing great.)
Love,
Ali
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.