#02 - How Do You Deal With Difficult Days?

Dear Friend,

How do you deal with difficult days? If you are in nigeria, humor me. I mean the extraordinarily difficult ones – the ones that sneak up on you, crushing your neck, and daring you to scream. Those days when your coping mechanisms do not seem to be working? Sleep is not banging, as it should. Your libido is on the floor and food seems like a bore. How do you deal with those days? I am having more of those kinds of days.

I hate road trips, do you? It is all the moving parts – speeding cars, shifty kekes, playing children – for me. There is excessively much not within my control, too many things I cannot blame myself for, I think. I drove today. It is the first time I have been able to imagine myself driving since I broke our fence almost two years ago. I still do not know how I feel about this, that is why I am telling you, I think. I wish I could tell my uncle, his hands gripping the seat at his sides the whole time that I was more terrified than I was being. I drove today.

Happy Father’s Day! *shivers* school fees…

State Lines by Novo Amor is what is playing now. I like sharing songs that mean something to me with you.

I am scared. I am going to die here.

I want to explain that to you but it is hard? Night comes each day with a weary sigh of relief that I am still here while dreading that this is where I will go. That Nigeria will be the death of me. I wonder if you ever feel this particular fear as if Nigeria is trying to drown you. I wonder if this fear is why I am writing this letter - a hopeful rebellion or the frantic efforts of the drowned.

I am looking forward to watching Working Moms and sleeping early tonight – a pipe dream; I will be worrying if this letter found you better than you were yesterday, a little lighter. But sleep will come, probably while Kate is dealing with the consequences of working two jobs - I hope things turn around for Frankie. I hope things turn around for you too, friend.

I am working on an essay. It is weird, I have started but I seem to have lost my way? It is about flights and flying. I hope I can share that essay with you sometime, somewhere. The idea in my head is such a beautiful thing; I want you to see it. Lmao. I am having doubts again. Have you heard that ideas are tested in conversations for grit? I wonder what you think of that.

Signing off to Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons:

“Oh, hush, my dear, it’s been a difficult year,

And terrors don’t prey on innocent victims…”

Sine Cera

Osondu

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