30 lessons I've learnt before 30

*This article has been republished due to MEGA formatting issues in the first version.*

👋 For those who don’t know, I turned 30 a couple of months ago.

(I actually laughed out loud while writing that first line, because I really made a spectacle about turning 30 both on Instagram and in real life.)

I made sure every single person in my life knew that it was my birthday, including singing happy birthday twice at my party (once for the cake, again at midnight) and I also wore my ‘It’s my birthday’ headband for a trip to Bath, one month post-real birthday.

Insufferable? Probably. Lots of fun? Absolutely.

I’m happy to report that I actually felt completely fine turning 30. I had a little wobble a couple of days before, but I called up my friend Fiona, had a miniature spiral, and received a good talking to, and then I sort of just got over the fear, and it turned into excitement.

Anyway, as my mum always says when it comes to getting older… “what’s the alternative!”

So, in order to mark this milestone, (and because I fucking love a listicle!!!!) I’ve written down 30 lessons I’ve learnt over the past 30 years.

Some deep, some not-so-deep. But hopefully, all enjoyable (and relatable.)

1. You need to be your own biggest advocate

This might be my biggest lesson of the past 30 years, and has definitely been the most prevalent in 2025. You need to advocate for yourself professionally, medically, in all relationships, and more. Nobody is going to look out for you the way you look out for yourself, and sometimes that means boundaries, other times it means following up on doctor’s appointments, and it might also include pushing for a higher salary. If you believe in it for yourself, you need to push for it.

2. (And related..) How you view yourself will directly impact how others treat you

3. To be a village, you need to be a villager (of course!)

4. Not everything has to be about bettering yourself

99% of what I consume is founded in the idea that you’re not enough as you are, and you need to improve in some way. And while yes, self-improvement is generally a good idea, not everything you do or consume has to be rooted in it. In fact, it’s exhausting.

Not because it’s productive, not because it’s making you smarter, not because it’s transforming your life. Enjoyment is enough.

A prime example of this is reading smutty faerie fantasy books. Are they expanding my intellect? No. Do I devour them with a level of joy I’ve never had for a self-help book? Absofuckinglutely.

5. Walking is SO fucking good for you in so many ways

6. Being single in your 20s is the best present you can give yourself

7. Learn to choose which hills to die on

Life is nuanced. You should always stand up for what you believe in, but there are also times and places where it’s best and easiest to let it go. And knowing when those moments are will bring you so much peace.

8. Nothing will change if nothing changes

9. Ask people questions!

The easiest one in the world. Ask bloody QUESTIONS. Find out about people, show interest, and they will remember you so, so fondly. Nothing is more flattering than somebody being genuinely interested, and people (including me) will appreciate it so much when you recall little things they’ve previously mentioned in conversation.

10. You can do anything, but not everything

Anything is possible, but not if you try and do it all at once. Good things take time. So focus on your goal, work hard and you'll reap the benefits.

11. You will really, really thrive with a bit of routine

12. Stop asking what they think of you, and question what you think of them

13. People remember who danced at their weddings

14. Your job should probably be the least interesting thing about you

    Caveating with this being extremely subjective. Some people are incredibly passionate about their work. But if you’re someone who simply landed in your job by fluke, or gets Sunday scaries, I just want you to know that there is so much more your friends and family care about beyond your job. Even when talking about my friends who have the coolest jobs ever, I rarely mention what they do and default to talking about everything else amazing about them.

15. You’re never too much for the right people

16. You will never be good enough for the wrong person

17. Love isn’t a bus timetable, there’s no scheduled arrival and departure
    There is NO timetable on love and relationships. And because there’s no timetable, staying in something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re scared of missing ‘the last bus’ isn’t the answer. Fear of being alone is not the same thing as love.

    If you’re holding on out of habit, comfort, or the worry that nobody else will come along, then you’re treating love like a bus timetable. You’ll get much farther if you trust that it doesn’t work like that.

18. There are 8 billion people in this world. If you need Google to tell you whether to stay with your partner… don’t.

19. Staying silent will almost definitely lead to resentment

20. Life is TOO short for shit books, put them down

21. If all you’ve got is 20% energy, and you show up with that, then you’ve given 100% of what you had.

22. You probably don’t need people to tell you how to look after yourself

23. Sometimes your cup can only be filled by the women in your life

24. It’s so much easier to learn how to pick up the phone

25. If you were not ready, you simply wouldn’t have the opportunity

26. You can only do so much, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try

    I know this sounds cryptic, but what I mean here is that you are only one person, and that is enough. It’s easy to convince yourself that your voice or your post or your presence doesn’t make a difference. I’ve seen and heard this so much recently with regards to posting about political matters on social media.

    
    But frankly, if nobody posted and protested and spoke out, nothing would change. It’s important to try. Like those 10p machines in beach arcades, it’s important to add your weight to the pile even if it feels small.

27. Feel your boobs!!!

28. When you think something nice about someone, you’re the only one who can let them know

29. Take 24 hours between adding to basket and hitting purchase, you’ll probably remove half of the items

30. Your standards are probably high because you’re able to reciprocate everything you ask for
    

And, fin! ✨

So, how is my early bedtime going?

Arguably well! I’ve been putting in much more effort to go to bed at a reasonable time. I think I’ve nailed that half of the goal, but the getting up earlier is… hard.

I have recently been getting up to look after the little dog I’m pet sitting, which is the perfect excuse to get out of bed. But on the days he’s not there, I am sound asleep. So putting more effort into getting up early is next on the agenda.

As we come to the end of August and the seasons change, I’m going to bring in something new to my reset. The start of the school year still sits in my head as a time for new beginnings, so why not bring in a new routine, habit, or hobby to help improve my life. ✨