on leaving reviews & being seen

for the past couple of years, one of my New Year’s resolutions is always “leave more reviews”. and every year, I fail to follow through with this extremely simple goal.

I’m not quite sure what it is that makes this task so impossible for me. I’m not typically the procrastinator type, but I often find myself opening those “did you like ____? leave us a review!” emails from the brands I buy from, clicking out of my inbox, and forgetting about it instantly.

and yet, whenever I scroll through the reviews section of a product I’m itching to buy, I think: thank God for these kinds of people. how else would I have known to size up in that pair of sneakers so that my toes won’t feel like they’re being crushed? or that seemingly cozy sweater I was eyeing was actually really itchy and uncomfortable?

time after time, I admire the reviewer — and I never become one. and for whatever reason, this eats away at me.

I am quite an opinionated person — I think anyone that knows me could tell you that. I have no problem telling people what I think. sometimes I think that my outspokenness is such second nature that I put my foot in my mouth around others that are more reserved about their thoughts. I don’t always realize that it’s actually not normal to say every thought the second you have it.

and, as a direct contrast to that side of myself, I find it terrifying and exhilarating to be seen. it’s both what I fear most and what I desire most.

I like to say that “I’m the most opinionated yet indecisive person you’ll ever meet”. I have a dozen favorite movies because I can’t pick just one. I can tear apart a book riddled with grammar inconsistencies, then rave about a cheesy rom-com for its witty (yet maybe unrealistic) banter. I’ll call you out for your bad takes, but die proudly on the many hills of my own hot takes. I can’t pick what I want to eat for dinner, but I can tell you definitively what I don’t want to eat for dinner.

and yet, just this past Saturday, I squealed to my friend about the bookstore-slash-coffee-shop establishment we visited and how much I adored it — but never took that extra step to leave that small business a glowing review.

so what is it about me that finds it so daunting to review things that I loved (or those that I didn’t)? leave comments? to share my opinion? to be perceived?

obviously, there are so many benefits to reviewing things you’ve experienced for yourself. as a small business owner who relies on testimonials and word of mouth to get my clients, and thus my income, I understand this intrinsically.

I want to be a person who reviews things.

to experience something I loved and tell the world that I loved it.

and maybe leave a small mark on the world — even if it’s to lift up something or someone else up. even if it has no direct benefit on me.

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot: “it is productive to engage with art.”

whenever I read a book, I constantly update my Fable with my reading progress. I’ll even post notes in the middle of the book to say things like “wait that was so tea” or share a sentence that changed my brain chemistry. I mentally write the review I’m going to leave of the book even while I’m in the middle of the book.

the first thing I do when I finish & shut the book is open my Fable app back up, give the book a rating out of 5 stars (my ratings are always generously high, because I love mostly everything I read), and write a somewhat-detailed review that no one is ever going to read. and sometimes I’ll even go read the other reviews left for the book to see how I agree or disagree with others’ takes.

I doubt anyone ever reads my reviews. and some might think they’re cringe.

but this is productive. this is consuming art at its finest. it keeps me actively engaged with the content I’m experiencing. it causes me to think critically, and stay present so I can leave the most accurate review possible. it then encourages me to engage with others who have shared the same experience as me, giving me community. and my review may even lead someone to read the book for the first time.

and this, of course, doesn’t only apply to books. it applies to movies (need to download Letterboxd ASAP), TV shows (Fable actually does that, too), music, IRL establishments, events, artists, anything and everything we experience.

it is productive to engage with art — and with the world around us. in fact, it makes us better humans to each other.

I want to do that. I want to review things more often. even if just for myself.

so, to keep myself accountable, here is a list of very realistic and not scary things I can do to leave reviews. not only to be seen, but to help someone else be seen.

• posting a comment on a social media post that I found uplifting, creative, informative, etc. creators are fueled by their positive notifications (as I am so familiar with), so why not encourage every chance I get?

• when I purchase something I really love, following through when I get that followup email to share my thoughts. others’ reviews help me so much, so why not pay it forward for someone else? bonus points for doing this for small businesses!

• after visiting or working with a small business that I liked, I want — no, I need to leave a review. these reviews and ratings can sometimes define if a business is successful or not. visited a indie coffee shop with a cute interior? I’m telling the world! I’m tagging them on my Instagram so my local friends pay them a visit! I’m becoming a loyal patron!

• engaging with my fellow Substack creators and friends: reading their work, leaving thoughtful comments on it, reposting their relatable notes, marking up the virtual margins of the pages we’re all writing here.

• writing reviews for books, shows, movies, songs, albums I’ve consumed, posting them on my silly little review apps, or putting them in my monthly “little sparkles” posts — even if no one reads them. because who cares!

the best way to tell the world that we were here?

engaging with it. lifting it up. and sharing it with others.

I wouldn’t mind being seen if it was only to do those things, and do them well.

join me? xx