I’m writing to you today with my little pup Robert sleeping on my lap. I am sitting on my home’s rooftop terrace, the wind is refreshing, and the sun overseeing the bright blue sky is as generous as the dreamful clear view spectacle it offers from the coast of Spain, a coast that seemed to be somehow more reachable by any intentional arm stretch this morning. If it weren’t for the birds singing, silence would turn the whole scene into a Polaroid picture of some sorts… It’s quiet, calm, serene.
This peaceful moment is probably more significant than any other ones for me, as yesterday afternoon, seeing Robert not being his playful self, I rushed him to the vet, as I suspected it wasn’t normal for him to be so quiet. I was then informed that Robert has the life-threatening parvovirus. No need to say I am devastated. The vet’s office probably never saw a guy in tears turning from a worried pup daddy to a pretty directing “commander in chief”.
Good thing they already knew me, as they are the ones who assisted us in saving Louna’s life at the beginning of last year. It was clear from the second the diagnostic dropped that Robert would become everyone’s priority. 5 minutes after, I had everyone’s personal cell phone to contact in case there was an emergency, even the poor man who told me: “But I’m only cleaning here...” Well, you have a slight connection to the clinic, so you are part of Robert’s saving operation crew. It must have been “funny” for the whole team to see me, the guy who’s the furthest from being qualified in any possible way, to try and conduct the clinic on the only mission that mattered to me. The owner of the clinic put his hand on my shoulder before saying, “Don’t worry, we are here for you both. You’ve got the most important role here, and it’s to look after Robert. We’ll take care of the rest.” “Of course, of course,” I answered after realizing that I was, oh surprise, so intensely engaged in Robert’s fight…!
The thing is, after what happened to MacKaye, whom I suspected was ill regardless of the normal tests (and we did a LOT) and results showing nothing, I am much more responsive and directive with Robert, which in retrospect must have saved Louna’s life as well. I still believe in my heart that MacKaye could have been saved if I would have pressed the issue to conduct much deeper blood and cell tests much sooner than I did, especially as I knew him well enough to know there was something bad going on… and there was, as he had a very rare case of hepatosplenic T-cell lymphoma.
When I heard about the nature of his cancer, my whole world collapsed. The next 6 months of chemotherapy and new experimental treatments conducted, with an incredible dedication from all the doctors of the Virginia Tech Animal Cancer Care and Research Center, were probably the most emotionally tearing-down experience of my life… So this time, I wouldn’t settle with “general” tests on Robert. And kept on repeating to myself, “He will kick that virulent virus and live… for a long, long time!!!” And I was relieved that everyone understood why I was so intense… “That pup wasn’t given to me to die in my care. No freaking way!!!”
No need to say that the last couple of nights were intense. I didn’t sleep much, if at all. Robert slept in my hand. Yes, he is that small. And each of our “bathroom” trips felt like going to the battlefield. It was ugly in every possible way, but Robert showed me it wouldn’t be my fight alone, as he carried on each night till dawn, his eyes were still filled with puppy innocence, and his general demeanor, if tired and exhausted from battling the virus, was one of a tiny little measure of life fully determined to conquer that inner enemy… YES!!! That’s the spirit, boy!!!!
Coming over to the terrace, which has been our routine ever since we adopted each other, a week already, he walked around as he used to do, sat in front of me to be picked up, lay down on my legs, and gently licked my hand as I was comforting him. He took the intense medication of his anti-virus protocol in a good spirit and looked at me as if he were saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this.” I know we will. So we’re starting day 4… The first 5 are the most crucial ones, and the whole fight is 10 and beyond.
(Another famous Robert said Boys Don’t Cry)
It’s truly one instant at the time. I have to constantly monitor him, which is fine by me, as I know it will only tighten our already unique connection together. Robert has clearly found the craziest person to conduct the whole healing operation with him.
As for the clinic, Robert and I are waiting every single morning in front of the door before opening hour, after I sent them pictures throughout the night and called 3-4 times since the moment we got back home to validate and monitor ALLLL the details, from new sets of pictures to his general condition, his body temperature, and on, and on, and on, and also to let them know that if need be, we’d be there in a few minutes for them to manage any possible preoccupation. If they thought I was intense when I rescued Louna, they’ve already seen another level of “insanity” with Robert’s case. Gladly, they are true animal lovers, or else they would probably think I’m crazy. Well, they probably think I am already, but there are far worse reasons to be, right!?!
Alright, so this is not really the Substack follow-up publication I intended to share with you, but you know by now that I live in the present tense, and it couldn’t be more “now”of my ongoing reality than this post. That being said, while I will update you on Robert’s condition as it goes, I’m also getting fairly close to the deadline for submitting my album’s final master as well and still have substantial things to do.
Just like I told Ben, who’s presently mixing the songs I told him were ready, we’ll work until the very, very, very end… Not that it came as a surprise, he’s used to it. I’m not only crazy and intense when it comes to my pups, my art is also a subject of my beautiful and meaningful insanity…! So along with Robert, keep Ben in your positive thoughts, he needs it!
As a token of my love and to stay true to my words, here’s a little snippet of a song you’ve never heard before ;)
This is me calling out
Life creates life.
Your brother and friend,
Alex
PS: For the fourth part of my “So What’s Going On, Alex?” series, titled “What About Music Now? ”, I will share about that specific new song as well as the ongoing album process… Your patience will be rewarded ;)
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.