Edition #136 - 10 Years Ago Today, I Wanted to Die

10 years ago, in what was the bleakest period of my personal journey, I ended up drifting to the dazzling city of Tangier instead of heading to Barcelona, where I was not only supposed to go, but where everything had been organized for me to softly land in a place where I had stopped countless times in the past…

My last-minute decision to go to North Africa regardless of the fact that I didn’t know anyone nor any references to hold on to happened to be the most defining move I could ever make… My initial 2-month stay eventually turned the profound hopelessness I was losing my battle with into a renewed vision for my life and a refreshed desire to “be”. It changed the course of my whole existence.

That being said, looking back at the last decade, through its invigorating ups and devastated downs, I feel profoundly privileged to be able to say that it’s the friends I had the blessing to make during that initial trip who ultimately gave me the willingness, if not the courage, to keep on fiercely evolving into the person I have been determined to become ever since I first left them to go back and redefine my life, only to have the utmost joy to come back again and again and again… until I eventually rooted myself amongst their precious midst.

This absolutely unexpected part of my actual voyage is another example that no matter where we may end up, our departure, regardless of how difficult the first steps might be, will always be rewarded with liberating transformations and emancipative uplifts. As long as we take a chance, as long as we welcome the streaming flow of experiences designed for us to outgrow our fears, to discover ourselves beyond the limitations of our self-imposed status quo…

And whenever you find it impossible to bear the burden of your reality, keep going… And like I did, you’ll eventually experience the difference between incarnating purposeful inner transitioning motions and perpetually nurturing some stand-still form of sterile agitations. You’ll be able to outline the contrast between undergoing a complete emotional and psychological metamorphosis versus entertaining the conceptual make-believe of a self-remodeling projection. An enfranchising existence is experienced, not distantly fantasized… At least, that’s what I live by now.

10 years ago, I came to Tangier thinking about taking my life away… Instead, the love with which I’ve been received healed me into embracing what became the very first day of my current existence.

Life creates life.

Your friend and brother,

Alex

PS: I’ll be sharing some details about a very special Tangier get-together I want to invite you all to this fall… Life, life, life!