Beach Hacks from A Chef

Complete honesty: we chefs are a pasty bunch who could really use an interlude on the beach. We spent a lot of time in basements peeling onions and checking overflowing grease traps? That said, we also love efficiency. I always tell myself I’m gonna stay at the beach for eight hours when 2 to 3 is enough…

While I have mastered the art of slathering myself in sunscreen, bringing 14 umbrellas and wearing 6 pairs of sunglasses, packing/eating at the beach in an efficient way forever eludes me on some level.

I know. Why are you following a chef who’s basically saying they don’t know how to tell you to eat at the beach when eating is a big part of my profession? Smart question and for you I have a small list of things that have become my gospel when going to the beach:

I’m always somehow instantly thirsty. Taking some clever shortcuts like freezing grapes (or berries) to use as ice cubes for any drink and then having the grapes/berries to snack on as they defrost: underrated.

I pack a sippy cup of something else delicious. Lemonade. Iced tea. Mint leaves in water. Trashy delicious orange soda. I also love watermelon ice cubes. I make them just by pureeing watermelon with a dash of this n’ that and freezing overnight. They are beautiful, delicious, and they satisfy that watermelon craving without bringing drippy, sticky watermelon that always ends up deteriorating in the summer heat.

For whatever reason, my parents would always pack spicy salami sandwiches with salty provolone cheese for the beach. Why on earth would we go to the saltiest place and have a super salty sandwich, I always asked myself?? Sometimes I bring it just for nostalgia and realize that I don’t care about the sandwich anymore. It’s just a nostalgic way of honoring my parents.

Sandwich strategy is underrated. I like the richness of mayonnaise and such in my beach sandwiches and look less for supremely acidic ingredients though that’s what I love in my everyday life. Construct your sandwiches cleverly, protecting your bread from the super soggy elements (tomatoes, peppers...) as you build them.

Pack for the beach like you’re packing for a trip. In my world, that means pack everything you want and then leave at least half of it at home. I can’t tell you how much time I spend cleaning sand off things I never used. You’re only going to the beach for a few hours, not for a week camping. Try to keep that in mind.

Try to enjoy yourself more. Leave your phone in the car and try to use the beach for what it was intended to do: bring more positive ions and peace to your day.

I usually pick a theme and try to stick with it. Italian hero sandwiches and antipasti. Mediterranean dips and vegetables with some grilled chicken. Classic Americana picnic fare like peanut butter and jelly and ham and cheese sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

There’s plenty of time to be supremely fancy and overthink things and I’m not against those concepts either. Just remember: you made drippy sand castles and sat, soaking wet, on a sandy towel while the searing hot sun singed your cheeks. You probably ate a peach or an orange and let the juices drip down your arms to your elbows and then just went back into the water to wash off all the sugar and sand. Try going back to that simplicity. And pack a good sandwich.

What are your favorite beach hacks? Let me know in the comments!

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