When she tests you, do this

Because women historically felt less safe in the world than men, feeling unsafe triggers them to test your ground, strength, power, and capacity to protect, provide, and show up.

Plus it’s nature too, because ultimately, the egg chooses the sperm, isn’t it!?

This is especially true if she detects that you still feel unsafe within yourself, mirroring that back to you.

Ideally, if you both have learned your lessons and your nervous systems show it, testing becomes unnecessary. You know you are not responsible for each other’s unregulated state.

But if it happens, you have the power to dissolve it and bring safety, rather than create more drama.

How? First, do not be defensive. Do not react to her tests. If you react, even if it feels justified, you already failed the test. Your reaction is the test.

Instead, bring yourself into presence and wholeness, knowing that she simply needs reassurance. Assure her that she is safe within herself and safe in her connection with the Creator.

When the moment passes, invite her to ask you questions rather than giving you exams. Because couple work can be done in a fun way if we train ourselves to not take it so personally.

Always show her the way back to her own source. Remind her of her wholeness by embodying it yourself. That is what she actually needs.

If there is work on her side to be done to strengthen her sense of safety within herself, she will do it without you even mentioning, provided you have a mature woman beside you that understands the value of that.

When we move beyond the testing we normalized in survival mode, we step into a beautiful dance of thriving together rather than playing games.

Remember, the journey is supposed to be fun.

With love,
Alexandru