Young Children Need to Come Before New Relationships

I get it, having young children is hard. They are constantly asking you for something, and they need your support in life.

Guess what! That’s part of parenting, and if you’re starting out in a new relationship, you need to keep putting the focus on your young children.

As they get older, they’ll start to want more freedom. They’ll still need you, and you still need to put them first when they do need you, but it’s not as difficult to manage as with young children.

Yet, I see so many parents get into a new relationship and constantly put that relationship first.

And usually, it’s because the new partner is jealous or insecure about the time they don’t get to spend with their new partner.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been separated from the other parent — or even if you weren’t officially together at the time. Your children need you.

They need stability and support, and a new relationship rocks their world.

Eventually, you may get to the stage of introducing them to the new partner, but that won’t happen for at least three to six months. Then it all depends on how serious things get.

However, even then, you still need to put your children first. They need to know that you are there for them when they need you.

If you start changing the custody arrangements for a new relationship, they will question everything. They’ll question if you love them or if you care about them. They won’t understand that you have something exciting going on, because to them, it means instability.

You want your children to thrive, and putting them first is the way to do that.

Most children want to see both parents. It’s only when there’s a case of abuse or neglect that things start to change.

So, listen up! If you start to put your relationship first, you run the risk of looking like you don’t care. In a child’s eyes, you’re pulling away, and that leads to all sorts of mental health issues.

What happens if you break up with that new partner, and suddenly, you want to spend all your custody time with your child? They start to question whether you’re only filling the gap until the next fling comes along.

It’s important to stick to your custody schedule, and this is great for your new relationship as well. You have boundaries early on, and if a new partner isn’t happy with that, then you need to question whether they are right for you and your family.

If they’re jealous of you spending time with your children, what happens when that relationship gets more serious? Will they care for your child? Will it create more problems between you and your child? You may think that you can keep everything separated, but in the end, it all catches up to you.

Plus, a new partner shouldn’t be demanding all your time. They know what you come with — as long as you made that clear to them in the first place! — so they should accept you for the “baggage” that you have.

This doesn’t mean you give your children everything that they want. You still need to set up boundaries with them to avoid entitlement, but young children are dealing with a lot of emotions that they don’t understand, and it’s up to you to help them as their parent.

What have you done in a new relationship when children are involved? Let me know in the comments!

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