I don’t suggest that anyone ghosts people they’re talking to on dating sites all the time, but there are times when it’s the safest thing to do.
I’ve done it!
Am I proud of it? Absolutely not, but it’s somethings the thing that you need to do to protect you and your family.
Then, there are times when it’s just the best option because somebody is no longer listening to you. But this doesn’t mean you ghost after one argument.
My number one reason to ghost someone on a dating site is due to safety.
This person could have made you feel threatened, or there can sometimes just be that gut feeling of unease. I’ve had it when someone has come across more as a stalker rather than a potential date.
In fact, there was one guy when I just got an icky feeling. I wasn’t sure why, until I found out from others he was talking to who had the same feeling. It turned out there was a lot that he was hiding, and so, the best thing to do was ghost.
However, the safety aspect usually comes up when boundaries have been ignored. You’ve said “no,” and they’re just not taking it as the answer. It becomes more of a game for them, and you don’t need to play it. By the way, this counts if you’ve been dating for some time and they’re just not understanding that no means “no” when you break up.
Block and move on!
Another reason is when there is manipulation. The more you get to know someone, the more their true self comes out.
This leads to gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, and just general toxicity.
In many cases, this will lead to your safety being threatened, so it goes back to the first point. Even if your physical safety isn’t at risk yet, it doesn’t mean that it won’t be. You can step back and not communicate anymore.
You don’t even owe someone like this an explanation.
Now, this can be a fine line. If a first date didn’t go well, I don’t see a problem with telling the person that and moving on. After that, it’s okay to ghost. After all, you’ve said all you need to.
But what if you don’t feel safe about sharing that the first date was disastrous? This can happen if the other person has made you feel belittled. It can happen if their toxicity comes through right away.
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In some cases, it comes from a message following the date, as they’re checking in about a second.
I go right back to not feeling safe again. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you can get hounded or stalked.
So, the best thing to do is to block and avoid.
It is okay to ghost someone on a dating site or someone you’re talking to. I encourage it at times.
When would you say it’s okay to ghost? Feel free to let me know in the comments!
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