Am I getting back to writing?

One of my goals for this year was to get back to writing - 12 blogs this year. The first 2 months of 2026, I always tried writing something in my free time. And man it’s really freaking hard. The words flow, but I couldn’t get to any meaningful punchline. I didn’t know where I was going with my words.

Back when I was writing like a machine from 2020 to 2024, I always had a message before I started writing. Everything I write is to make that message stick with the readers. Now, I write a lot more freely, usually just streams of consciousness. So I never know when I should stop. I wander. And honestly, it feels super unproductive :)

Because I would need to block out 2-3 hours for a writing session. That means 1 morning or afternoon. Now that I have a full-time job, a volunteering project, and a side gig that take up all 5 weekdays and nights — like most normal people, I only have the weekends for friends, family, hobbies, and a million other things in life. Writing, is just one of the things I can do in my limited free time.

Writing, for the past few months, feels like a chore - something I kind of believe to be good for my thinking, my “brand”, or my future advantage. But I’d only do it because I view it as a means to achieve something, not an inherently enjoyable activity in itself.

I used to view writing as an end in itself. The satisfaction of reorganizing scattered thoughts, feelings, and stories, in a neatly packaged blog post, has kept me writing more than 500 of those. Writing was how I creatively make sense of my life and share it with the world.

Now, writing has become so hard that I find myself consuming more than creating. When I read my past blogs, I am often surprised by how well I articulated feelings and thoughts. And that made me feel even more demotivated from writing.

“There’s no way I’m topping that.”

But the point of writing is never to “top that” awesome blog post you made. The point of writing, for me at least, is to give yourself a little bit more clarity of thought.

So cheers to “mediocre” work. Because who tf cares if what you’re producing is being viral or not (unless you’re making a living from writing). 99% of us will not make writing our full-time job. So might as well enjoy the artistry of this hobby to the fullest.

Write things that bring you joy and maybe only you will understand.

Write things that bring you more clarity.

Write for yourself.

For myself: the moment you think you’re an important writer, it’s a good exercise to drop that illusion. It’s a hobby :)

p/s: writing is not the ONLY hobby that’s good for your future. Try learning a skill! I’m trying vibe-coding in the next few months - will share if I learn something cool!

Point is: don’t feel guilty if you sit down for 2 hours and cannot write anything decent - maybe that’s your sign to go learn and do something new.