New York is so back!

Good afternoon! Hello, hello, hello and welcome back! To me and to you:) My last post was three weeks ago - when I said I was taking a break for Easter. I did just that and relaxed, drank tea, ate chocolate and lots of hot cross buns with butter.

Now I’m back in New York! With a bang! This newsletter is coming to you from the 30 degree Celsius Manhattan, specifically, the Morgan Library!!!!

I’m not actually in that room right now. You can’t write in there…but I looked. I’m in the adjacent cafe, which is much less beautiful. I won’t even share a pic. OK I will:

New York is New Yorking! The blossoms are out! The summer clothes are out! The ice-cream trucks are back! The coats have been shed! To reveal the many pregnancies made in the winter! Everyone is smiling! I’m complimenting strangers’ outfits left and right.

I am New Yorking too. This morning I went for a run in Central Park! Then home for a Mr Coffee coffee! With scrambled eggs seasoned with Everything But the Bagel seasoning! I’m wearing the New York summer uniform (monochrome). Today it’s cream linen pants and a black tee but tomorrow it could be black barrel pants and a white tee…who knows…the sky really is the limit in New York!

We had a 9am family reading in Pre K today for the Pre Ker’s birthday! She is 5! She was 1 when we got here! Because we came 4 years ago! And that’s how time works! We read The Nutcracker because it is her favourite book. And we read Fox & Son Tailers because it is Irish and is a great story. Speaking of great stories, the 6 year old is playing the part of ‘Black Crayon’ in her drama group’s adaptation of The Day the Crayons Quit - a book illustrated by Oliver Jeffers (of Belfast and Brooklyn). She is also playing Nala in a school adaptation of The Lion King (no known Irish connection). It’s all go!

We are well rested after two weeks at home. We stayed with my parents and I packed the 6 year old off to an Easter camp in my old primary school, with a daily lunch of jam sandwiches and Cadbury’s mini eggs. She had a blast! Painting and playing games and entering the talent show where I convinced her to tell jokes as her talent instead of what she actually wanted to do: the hula hoop. (She is not talented at the hula hoop).

The 4 year old stayed home, entertaining herself with whatever adult happened to cross her path...like the little boy in Dancing at Lughnasa. She made smoothies with my sister and watched Youtube videos with my Dad. (They have surprisingly similar taste in videos). She accompanied Granny to the hairdresser (where she swung in a chair and drank hot chocolate while she waited). She ran errands with me.

The kids played with their cousins and chatted with their grandparents. The 6 year old said to me one day: “You know the way Jesus was on the cross? How did he get there?”. “Hey Granda”, I said to my Dad. “She’s wondering how Jesus got on the cross!”

I thought he’d pick up on my tone of “Listen to this thing she’s asked me - isn’t it gas”. He didn’t pick up on that tone though and instead, said loudly and abruptly: “HE WAS NAILED TO IT”. The 6 year old’s jaw dropped in horror at his response. Now, my dad was standing behind her so he couldn’t see her traumatised reaction. Whether he would have changed tack if he’d seen it, we’ll never know. But what actually happened was he continued on, as though she had asked “Could you tell me in detail, practically, how he got on the cross?”

“THEY LAY HIM ON THE GROUND FIRST”, he continued “AND HAMMERED NAILS INTO HIS HANDS AND FEET, THEN THEY STOOD THE CROSS UP STRAIGHT”. Thank you for that, Granda. I’ve been fielding daily questions ever since on why Jesus had nails in his hands and feet and I swear I am just one more question away from saying “He died for our sins okay!!” quickly followed by “NO I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS EITHER EVEN THOUGH I ASKED ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER”.

People often ask how the kids will cope with moving back to Ireland. “They’ll be so exotic”, they say. They’re not exotic at all! Kids in Meath have the same names as kids in New York. All Arias and Adas and Auroras and Esmes. They love playgrounds and KPop Demon Hunters the same as my kids. Over the break, the kids told me they had the Best! Day! Ever! and what we’d just done was ride the €2 amusements in Navan Shopping Centre. I think they’ll be fine.

I can’t wait to move home. The kids are so happy there and so am I. Everyone is so friendly. Taxi drivers chat away. You cannot stop them. They cannot stop themselves. We chatted to loads of taxi drivers but my favourite was the one who dropped us to the airport. He told so many stories in which his best pal ‘Whacker’ played prominent roles and it might surprise you to learn that Whacker largely acts within the grey areas of the law. To be fair, New York taxi drivers are opening up to us a lot more recently. Ever since the 4 year old developed the habit of asking every single one “where their family is from”. It’s a very disarming twist on the potentially loaded “where are you from?” question and everyone so far has been very happy to tell her.

We flew back with Aer Lingus (obvi) and as always the crew thanked us for flying with Aer Lingus. No thank YOU! Thank you for your service!! Your amazing, amazing service! The kids played video games the whole way and the 6 year old told me that she prayed to God to win. I asked her who taught her how to pray and she said The Simpsons did. “Remember Homer said “Please God find the remote” and then it showed up!!”

I ordered a G&T and settled into the Boyzone documentary and oh my God…what a non story. I was a Boyzone fan but I was Team Louis by the end…even if he did look like Podge and Rodge’s more evil triplet.

“Waaaaah…I didn’t get to sing! Waaaaah I auditioned to be in a manufactured boy band and didn’t get to have any creative input waaaaah!!!”. Any time Mikey Graham did manage to evoke any sympathy in me, I simply remembered his role in Fatal Deviation and how seriously he took it and said to myself nope, right the first time.

Okay, I gotta go. Order chocolate and Rice Krispies and juiceboxes and candy to go in the massive KPop Demon Hunters pinata we got for the party. Is that cultural appropriation? I hope not.