A man was in a cab in New York City when someone cut off his cab driver so badly they almost got in an accident. On top of that, the person that cut them off stuck his head out of his window and started yelling and cussing at the cab driver. But the cab driver was unaffected by the other driver’s anger and instead waved back with a smile on his face.
The passenger was amazed by the calm demeanor of the cab driver so he asked the driver, “How could you be so pleasant and kind with this man who so rude to you?”
The cab driver smiled as he said, “Many people in this city are angry and that anger has nothing to do with me, I don’t take it personally. They are like garbage trucks, they collect anger, sadness, frustration, and disappointment. Sometimes they collect so many painful experiences that they desperately look to dump that garbage on someone else. When I see someone trying to dump their garbage on me, I don’t take it personally and as a result I don’t receive their garbage. I choose to not allow their emotions to be something I then carry and collect and then dump on others. Instead I pray for them and remember that my life is created from what I allow into it. I choose to interpret these occurrences with grace and as a result I have joy in my life, not anger.”
A Spiritual Reflection on the Story:
There is a profound simplicity in this story. It reminds us that its often in the quiet moments of every day life that spiritual teachings find us. The cab driver understood a deep secret of life: the quality of his life is not a sum of what happens to him, but based on how he holds what happens for him. In other words, what happens doesn’t change us, how we process, make sense of, and interpret what happens has the real power to change us. This story reminds us to be self-responsible for our lives, to take ownership over our feelings and reactions, and to choose to protect our space as opposed to blaming others. Whether something is a lesson or a blessing, we are called to be present with the underlying teaching.
“The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them harshly, they say, ‘Peace.’”
— Qur’an 25:63
Believers are called to be in a state of peace regardless of what happens outwardly because true peace is not tied to what happens, but arises from alignment and trust in Allah. This is why the Prophet ﷺ says, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.” (Sahih al-Bukhari) When we believe in God, we answer to a higher power than our ego’s desires. The cab driver doesn’t yell back because he sees reality as it is: a reflection of himself, a manifestation of His Lord, and an opportunity for greater growth. He also doesn’t take on someone else’s trauma. When he politely smiles, he is saying, no thank you, to someone else’s emotional dis-regulation, forcing the other person to either process what they are feeling or find someone else to unload on. The key in the peaceful demeanor of the cab driver is that he focuses on his own emotional state instead of being co-dependent or reactive toward someone else.
“The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry.”
—Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
Many people spend too much time trying to control other people or future outcomes, thinking that what happens in the future will define them. But the reality is that the obsession for control itself is often the root of the fear and anxiety we feel. It’s not uncertainty that gives us anxiety, it’s the worse case scenarios we project from our mind upon the canvas of the future. In other words, the uncertain future is neutral so the anxiety we feel says more about the veils we carry rather than what tomorrow holds. This story is showing us what it looks like when we no longer carry the false belief that we are responsible for other people’s emotional states. It shows us what an unencumbered peace wonderfully feels like.
May Allah help us all step into this Divinely blessed state of peace. My beloved Lord, help us to be gentle with ourselves and others. Oh Allah, help us to not take on what is not ours, protect us from the anger of others, and help us open our hearts to the overflowing beauty of all that surrounds us. My Lord, give us the patience and wisdom to hold our ground of peace and to be rooted in You alone. In Your beautiful and majestic names I pray, Ameen.
In prayers of light upon light,
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.