The truth about 'Positive Mental Attitude'

I am, by nature, a positive individual.

I’m not bragging or even trying to suggest that there is something ‘special’ about me. I simply recognise this as a good attribute within me (we all have some!) that’s become an important part of who I am and how others perceive me, hopefully 🙂

But here’s the thing. My ‘positivity’ has not been moulded over the years by all the extraordinary things I’ve done or the uplifting moments I have enjoyed, the wins and successes. Quite the opposite in fact…

My positive outlook has developed, perhaps counterintuitively, as a natural by-product of all the difficulties I have faced throughout my life; the disasters, the failures, heartbreaks and the times (many) when my world has been turned upside down.

My attitude has evolved from surviving and learning how to handle real challenges. Today, I know how important it is to have a positive outlook, and I have a very healthy respect for it.

But sadly, in broader conversation, to have a ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ has almost become a cliché today. When expressed so frequently and glibly, its real significance is now often overlooked or even misunderstood. Overuse of the expression has perhaps diminished its value, in a way, which I think is a shame.

Over the next couple of articles, I want to lay out my views about the fundamental importance of positivity, how we can all nurture it, and once we master it, how it can significantly improve our lives.

Much of what I am about to say is based on my own personal experience. But it has also been influenced by the many extraordinarily accomplished individuals I have met over the years (when putting together our book A Few Wise Words) who have shared their own views on attitude, and how they believe their positive outlook has contributed significantly to their success.

How having a ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ has become a cliché

The concept of ‘Thinking Positively’ and its perceived associated benefits have been sold to us so hard over the years that it has become more of a slogan, and less so, a recognised Emotional Intelligence skill.

One can find positivity quotes printed on mugs, T-shirts, and mouse mats, and it has become one of the go-to snippets to include in LinkedIn posts and even Notes.

Having a positive mental attitude is also widely used today as a blunt instrument to counter (often legitimate) worries or concerns: ‘Just be more positive!’

It’s no wonder that many, even thoughtful, individuals have quietly developed a sceptical if not cynical view of the whole notion of ‘positivity’.

The fact that having a ‘PMA’ has become a cliché is not proof that the concept is weak; it’s just that its impact has become somewhat diluted.

What does Positive Thinking really mean on a practical level?

Let’s be absolutely clear about this. To think positively about something often entails a simple shift in mental posture, not a dramatic change. While this shift can be subtle, it can also be powerful; a relatively minor adjustment in our attitude towards something can have a profound impact on outcomes.

I love the question, ‘Are you a glass half-empty or a glass half-full type of person?’

Needless to say, it’s the same glass; there’s no difference. But how we view it can be either relatively negative or more positive…

Positive thinking is not about being cheerful when we’re about to be shot. It’s not about pretending or convincing ourselves that ‘everything will be fine’. And it’s not about a blind gung-ho approach to everything either.

It’s about an outlook that either errs towards the constructive or leans (when negative) towards the destructive. What makes things slightly complicated is that we tend to ‘become’ our attitude. And normalisation then makes it harder to see if we have become more negative. Negative people don’t often see themselves as being negative. They don’t appreciate the impact that their negativity has on others. They will often justify their negativity by saying things like, ‘I’m just being realistic’.

The fundamental power of positive thinking becomes most obvious and acute when we address a very challenging situation…

We can either think negatively; “No! Not again! Why does this always happen to me? What have I done now to deserve this? This is going to be bad! I’m simply not ready for this!” 😫

Or, we can think positively: “This is going to be really, really tough!! But I’m going to find a way through. I’ve faced similar challenges before and have conquered them. So what’s the best action for me to take right now?” 😐

The challenge is the same. The approaches are different. But one is far more likely to lead to a good outcome…

It’s a way of positioning ourselves mentally in a way that says, ‘This is my reality. What do I need to do?’ It becomes a disciplined mental posture that recognises hope, the possibility of positive outcomes, and our ability to deal with the challenge.

People who are naturally inclined to look at challenging situations positively are far more likely to deal with them head-on, promptly, and with confidence, and are therefore more likely to succeed in overcoming them. It’s a way of thinking clearly, too, without allowing negativity (by comparison) to diminish their capability of responding.

Where ‘agency’ might be defined as our capacity and ability to act and make good decisions that can influence outcomes (rather than simply allowing ourselves to be subject to and then controlled by outside forces), our attitude is the conductor that helps us orchestrate our approach to challenges.

Positive thinking always expands agency, while negative thinking diminishes it. While a positive outlook tends to harness energy, a negative attitude tends to drain it.

As such, positive thinking and having a positive outlook will always be fundamentally important, and valuable, and ultimately, has one of the most important roles to play in our Emotional Intelligence.

Focusing our positivity while being real-world practical

Those with a more positive outlook tend to be more optimistic. Optimistic people look towards the future in a more constructive way, considering positive outcomes as real possibilities rather than dwelling on what may be ‘likely’ to go wrong.

Those who lean towards the positive tend to:

• See opportunities more easily and more quickly

• See failure or setbacks as helpful data and learning, and an opportunity to improve

• Persist more because of their belief, which then helps to compound their actions into good results

• Attract valuable support from others who want to ‘help them’ to succeed

Those who lean towards the negative tend to:

• Look for threats or evidence that something is likely to fail

• See failure as a shameful outcome and ‘risk’ as potentially dangerous and something to avoid

• Reduce the effort they put into something because it might be a waste of time

• Fail to secure the help they might need because they fail to inspire others

But once again, while a positive outlook is always good, being overly optimistic can sometimes lead to a lack of caution and even hasty decision-making.

Baroness Martha Lane-Fox, the entrepreneur who famously co-founded Lastminute.com, puts it very succinctly when she talks about ‘realistic optimism’:

I think optimism is an interesting thing, because as an entrepreneur you want to be optimistic about your ability to get things done, while at the same time not wishing to be unrealistic.

I believe that optimism and realism are very important when they work together in tandem. And you build ‘realistic optimism’ through learning it and understanding it first of all, and then by sort of acting it. Eventually, it becomes a way of being.

Baroness Martha Lane-Fox - from her chapter in A Few Wise Words

In my next article, we will consider how we can cultivate a positive attitude and also, how positivity will naturally contribute to us enjoying a more fulfilling and happy life.