ADHD and Guilt

Hi ADHDers!

I know, it’s been a while.

I’ve been feeling guilty for not publishing a newsletter in two months.

But this is perfect timing because we’re going to dive into the guilt that comes with having ADHD.

It’s Nerve-wracking. Joy-stealing. Gut-wrenching. Soul-destroying.

Shall we begin?

“Having ADHD is feeling guilty every now and again because you feel like you’re constamtly holding yourself back” - AdultingADHD

I feel like we don’t speak enough about the guilt we experience as people with ADHD.

Perhaps it’s because it’s not a nice feeling, it’s too painful to confront, and it can be all-consuming.

Here’s a list of common examples of ADHD Guilt:

😔 The post-diagnosis guilt of thinking about what your life could’ve been like if you got diagnosed earlier in life

🥄 The guilt of not having the spoons to respond to messages or engage with friends

😣 The guilt of starting multiple projects but not finishing them

💰 The guilt of all the impulsive decisions you’ve made and the ADHD Tax

😡 The guilt Neurotypicals cast upon us

We’ve all felt this at some point. Right?

I feel like we put too much pressure on ourselves to “fix” our brains and strive to do better because we’re Neurodivergent.

Whether it’s trying out many self-development books, forcing ourselves to fit Neurotypical standards, pushing ourselves to the limit, or punishing ourselves for not doing “good enough”.

But at what cost? It shouldn’t be rooted in shame, guilt, or brokenness.

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

Our value shouldn’t be determined by how productive we are, how much we’ve achieved or how well we’re doing in life. You are much more precious than that.

👉 Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in self-improvement, growth and personal success, but not at the expense of my mental health.

This is your sign to give yourself another chance to begin again.

Accept that things can change, and you don’t need to cage yourself in guilt. 🤏

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all of the answers, and I’m still figuring it out.

But give yourself some grace and don’t hold onto the guilt.

📣 Life is about learning, making mistakes and trying again and again. Don’t let guilt rob you of the joy that’s on the other side of letting it all go.

Baby steps to coping with guilt:

• Speak to a therapist, counsellor, or friends

• Write your feelings down on a piece of paper so it doesn’t consume your mind

• Don’t sit with it or ruminate

• Adjust any habits or patterns with things that lead you to guilt, e.g. managing ADHD Tax

• Listen to an encouraging podcast, YouTube video, a sermon, or audiobook to make you feel good on the inside

Finally, you’re not a bad person, a failure or a lost cause.

Give yourself grace, you deserve it!

That’s all from me

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Rach, with ADHD.