Good Women, Bad Men

I came across this tweet that says, "What's the psychology behind good women always getting treated so poorly by the men they do everything for?"

And honestly? I've always wondered this too. The good women always get the... not so good men. Why is that?

(And yes, before anyone comes for me, good men also get bad women but that's not the topic of discussion today. So, stay with me.)

Why do good women get badly behaved men? Why? Why? Why?

What's the psychology behind being a good woman and being treated badly by a man you're doing everything for? What is actually happening here?

I feel like bad men can sense who will tolerate their behavior. They can tell who will stay, who will forgive and who will keep giving chances. It's almost like they have a detector for it.

They're not looking for women because they want to cherish them, they're looking for women because they know these women will put up with their nonsense.

Think about it, if you're the kind of woman who prides yourself on being understanding, patient, and forgiving - you're actually the perfect target for a man who has no intention of treating you right because he knows that no matter what he does, you'll find a way to justify it, explain it away, give him another chance.

All you ever think in that your head is:

"He's just going through something." "He'll change eventually." "I know he loves me deep down." "If I just love him harder..." Does it sound familiar to you? Because it sounds familiar to me bajebaje

The psychology behind it, is actually pretty more like, people treat you how you allow them to treat you and women who are good.. the ones who do everything, who sacrifice, who stay through the disrespect have taught these men that bad treatment is acceptable.

The pattern is when a woman meets a man, she starts doing things for him like cooking, supporting, being there emotionally, physically, financially, and whatever.

She pours into him and at first, maybe he appreciates it, maybe he reciprocates a little but then he realizes... she's going to keep doing this regardless of what he does. Sooo, he starts doing less and she does more to compensate. The more he does even less, the more she does more and like that the cycle continues.

The psychology behind why good women get badly treated is because these women have been conditioned to believe that love means endless giving. That being a good woman means being selfless to the point of losing yourself. That if you just do enough, love enough, sacrifice enough, the Oloriburuku (the unfortunate man) will finally see your worth and treat you right.

A man who wants to treat you badly will do it whether you're good or not. Actually, he prefers that you're good because it means you'll tolerate it longer. You'll make excuses for him and you'll stay like the mumu that you are.

The real question shouldn't just be, "Why do good women get bad men?" It also should be, "Why do good women stay with bad men?”

Why do we accept poor treatment and call it love? Why do we do everything for someone who does nothing for us and convince ourselves that's what being a good woman looks like? Why do we stay in situations where we're clearly not valued, not appreciated, and not respected?

What's the psychology behind that?

Maybe it's because we think that our worth is tied to how much we can endure and how much we can forgive and make it look like suffering in love is something that one should be proud of

You'll open your nonsense mouth and be saying, "look how much I've been through and I'm still here" Pele you deserve, “The Oscar in the category, best in suffering goes to you “ since that's what you want.

Staying with someone who treats you poorly doesn't make you good. It's an ugly thing.

Good women should get good men. I believe that. You all bad people should go date yourselves. I also believe that.

But good women also need to stop accepting bad ones. Kilode? As long as there are women who will tolerate disrespect, there will be men who will dish it out.

If you're teaching someone that treating you badly is acceptable and that doing nothing while you do everything is fine, then that's exactly what you'll get.

So why do good women get bad men? Because bad men know good women will stay.