Acceptance: Owning Your Decisions

There are times when you hear something — advice, a thought, something someone says — and you know it’s right. You feel it. You even agree with it. And still, almost immediately, something in you goes, “Yeah, but that’s not really for me. That’s not how my life works. I’ll be fine.”

I see this a lot when I’m talking to people, sometimes in counseling, sometimes just in conversation. They listen, they nod, they say they’re taking it in, but there’s a quiet belief underneath that says, “My situation is different.” And sometimes it is. But most of the time, what’s different isn’t the situation — it’s how willing we are to really take responsibility for the advice or the truth in front of us.

I’ve done this myself more than once. I’ve leaned on faith in ways that were genuine, but not enough. I believe deeply in faith, it has shaped my life in real ways, but I’ve learned the hard way that faith doesn’t replace preparation, or planning, or making difficult but necessary decisions when you have the chance to.

Years ago, I moved back to Nigeria without sorting out my citizenship papers. Most of my friends had already done theirs, and for a long time, when people asked me if I regretted it, I always said no. And that wasn’t a lie. Moving back has been good. It’s been meaningful. It’s shaped who I am and the work I do.

But what I didn’t say for a long time is that I do regret not preparing better. I missed an opportunity that would have made my life easier. I lost something because of that decision. And pretending otherwise didn’t change the reality of it.

What helped me was finally allowing both things to be true at the same time. I don’t regret moving back. And I regret not being fully prepared. Naming that honestly, without trying to justify it or spiritualize it, brought a lot of clarity and relief.

That’s what acceptance has looked like for me. Not giving up. Not being dramatic. Just telling myself the truth and letting it be what it is. Accepting that I made a decision, that it had consequences, and that I still get to move forward.

So if you’re facing a decision right now, or you’re living with one you already made, I hope you’ll really sit with it. Take advice seriously, even when it feels uncomfortable. Think things through, both emotionally and practically. And whatever comes from it, let yourself accept it fully.

If it works out, be grateful. If it doesn’t, adjust. Don’t let one choice turn into a judgment about who you are or what your life can be. You’re allowed to hold more than one truth at the same time. And owning your decisions — even the ones you’d do differently now — is often the first step to doing better next.

Acceptance is something you practice. And in my experience, it’s where things start to move again.

Love,

xLumina