BLOG: How we deal with death is as important as how we deal with life

Hello my friends. This blog goes a lot of different places, bare with me. I haven’t had much extra time to write as of late, but that will hopefully change soon. Let me get the promo stuff out of the way first. My Kickstarter for the PLEASANT LIFE graphic novel is live now and ends this Tuesday. This is the last chance to get it physical and digital on a discount, as well as getting your name in the book, so act quick! Link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/adamtalley/pleasant-life-the-comic-about-nerds-and-relationships

(Last opportunity to get both the books (2008 and 2026) and have the whole shebang! Compare the art from 20 years ago to now! (I hope I improved somewhat!) This is the best thing I have ever done. The one I want to be remembered for. Grab it please. I want the world to read it.

Another announcement: As I am winding down the comic stuff I do, I am finishing up the last two STARSLAM books and they will be available for purchase via digital download. I might do a physical book run at some point but I am doubting it for several reasons. Then I got a couple other digital smut books I gotta finish up and put up on my DTCOMICS online store. Get all my books via digital download here: (You gotta create a login to see the NSFW stuff) https://www.drivethrucomics.com/en/publisher/14301/phymns

More promo stuff, there are opportunities to get commissions along with the Pleasant Life books in the above Kickstarter. But please know: I will soon be closing all commission work probably for good from that point on. But I will do one last dive right now… if you want a digital piece from me, or a physical one, you have options. Below is a list of my prices and the ins/outs/rules on my commission work. I am looking to “retire” from what I have been doing in illustration for 33 years and moving on to other things in my life like writing, fine art painting, etc. If I do more comics, I wont be talking about it until its done and released on my digital store or a quick physical release. Backing away from all the promo part of the gig. So this is your literal LAST CHANCE to get an original piece of art from me. Get a gift for a friend or yourself. Here’s the prices:

Email me at: phymns@yahoo.com to discuss purchasing and discuss what you want done. It helps me keep the lights on.

Okay, ONE LAST THING on this all… Coming up is the Cap City Comic Con here in Lansing, Mi. I am really thinking this might be my last “comic con” appearance. So when I am there, I will be selling my remaining prints and sketch cards on an extreme discount. I will have some books and original art there as well… so it probably is the last hurrah for the whole “Business side” thing of what I do. I might do a small press or zine/book focused show in the future as I would rather people read what I write (especially the books I will write coming up). So if you want a last chance to see and get something related to the comic stuff I have done, come see me at Capital City Comic Con, July 10-12th here in Lansing. Info: https://www.capcitycomiccon.com/

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So I’ve been doing alright. Health wise, I’m down 28 pounds, been healthier in lots of aspects as of late. Mental, physical. Haven’t touched a drink since April 10th. I’m navigating as best I can. I got to sit and watch the Knicks win the NBA championship. I used to watch a lot of basketball back in the 90s. I always dug the Knicks but the poor guys couldn’t make it happen back then. Glad to see they finally did it.

I’ve been watching and reading about the new RUSH shows in LA and Mexico. I got tickets to see them in Detroit in August and I’m pretty excited about it. I spoiled myself a bit and got myself a new Rush themed shirt and hat (Bubba’s is a reference to Neil Peart, RIP)

But the main thing that has been on my mind is family. My dad is still fighting dementia, and then this last week, I got the sad news that my brother John had passed away. My other brother and I had to trek down to Illinois to take care of things for his burial and we had to go through his small house to find a few items that meant something to his father’s side of the family (we don’t share the same dad, we had the same mother. He was born during her first marriage before she met my dad. My dad pretty much raised him from that point on). It was really a tough emotional thing, as you can imagine. There are a lot of layers to what has and will have to happen with it all. We didn’t take too much for ourselves except for a few things. By his front door he had a couple rubber chickens that I had a chuckle at. So I grabbed those along with two small beanie baby chickens. I’m not sure why he had them, but it made me laugh. I will clean them up and hang them by his new 8x10 picture in the hall to remember him by. Here’s the picture of him I chose:

The main thing we wanted to locate was an illustrated picture of my mother that was commissioned by John’s dad and my mother from some street vendor somewhere during that time. It used to hang in my childhood home and John claimed it shortly after she died, as he should have. It was important to keep that with one of us siblings. My older brother has a copy and he insisted that I keep the original. Personally, I never thought it looked like her totally and always thought I could paint a better one. I have chickened out on attempting it over the last twenty six years, but I might attempt it soon. Anyway, here it is:

The last thing I grabbed was a book. It was laying on the floor in the living room. My siblings and I all bond over music. And John specifically turned me onto RUSH and during a key moment of my life, I got to travel a bit with John and we listened to BLACK SABBATH. He was blown away that I was into that style of music. I think it was the first time he saw me as an adult. (I’m the baby of the family. My siblings were pretty much in their teens and on their way out the door by the time I came along) But I saw this newest Ozzy Osbourne book. It looked like he started to read it but hadn’t finished it yet. I saw it and a voice in my head said, “Hey little brother. Take that. I want you to read it and remember that day we bonded over Ozzy.” So I did.

We left majority of the stuff behind for others to go through and then likely the place will just get bulldozed. We have to return at some point in the summer or fall to bury his ashes next to our mother. But for now we are just navigating the feelings and memories that happens when someone we love passes away. I feel a big gaping hole in our family now. I’ve lost my mother, a brother and my father’s health is quickly fading. It is all so sobering. We think we are immortal until we get older and start seeing everyone we care about passing away around us.

I had not thought about death at all until I had my scary car accident almost three years ago. And ever since then, I’ve had people pass away around me, or have serious health issues that just remind you that this thing called LIFE will indeed end someday. In my personal health, I haven’t done the best job at stacking the deck for me to potentially live as long as I can. Truthfully, I have always been in a place where I didn’t care so much about it. It is such a foolish thing to squander the miracle of life and achieving consciousness in the entire randomness of the universe. But as I age and realize there are more things and places I want to travel to and experience after working my arse off all these years, I just want to be around as long as I can. I got things to do. I want to be with my kids and my friends. I want to travel, write, paint, draw as much as I can. Very soon I will have the freedom to do so. It is all I can think about.

But for now, I continue doing the right things to make those things happen. Also I gotta enjoy what I got and not dwell in the sadness. Tomorrow is Father’s Day. We just got to go and spend some time with our dad and he seemed quite happy to see us all together. It’s hard to watch him like he is, but it was so great to see him have such joy in his face as he just sat there with us. I’ll be thinking about him. As I typed this, I baked a cake and I will make a big meal with my boys tomorrow, their favorite. I could really use their comfort and presence with everything going on. Maybe make a few memories and smiles to add the pile of mental material I weave into the tapestries that are my life. As Bill Hicks said,

"The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid -- ever -- because... this is just a ride.' And we kill those people. 'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry; look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that -- ever notice that? -- and we let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because... it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort. No worry. No job. No savings and money. Just a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy bigger guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one." - Bill Hicks

I last chatted with my brother over messenger two weeks ago. He was asking me to send him some of my comics. I was going to after the new PLEASANT LIFE book was printed. I won’t get to now. But he said this:

I’m so grateful for that. So fucking grateful. RIP my brother. And as Ozzy sang, “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Thanks for reading. -T