Ripe Fruit

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Happy Tuesday.

Top of Mind: More Gratitude

Earlier this week I caught up with a friend in his early 70s. He and his wife have no living parents, and no grandchildren. He mentioned the grandchildren part might seem sad, but commented on many things about their experience that are positive and freeing. It reminded me of something he shared with me once that his father would say: "If you can't afford a steak, eat a burger." It's easy, at least for me, to be so focused on my ideal scenario or outcomes that I forget about the good stuff that's already present. There are many ways, and endless circumstances, to be happy.

Big Idea: Free Will vs. Destiny

Years ago, I took the opportunity to ask an honest question to a well-known spiritual teacher.

I asked him a two-parter: “How do you think about free will vs. destiny, and separately, how do you think about our role in pursuing the things we want in life, whether that’s love, success, purpose or the divine, vs. the potential reality that the things we want in life are actually pursuing us?”

His answer: “First, let’s agree that there is some level of determinism, as evidenced by the fact that we didn’t choose our parents on a conscious level, so there are at least some things that happen that seem predetermined. The problem is that we don’t know if it’s 1% or 100%, but we have the perception of free will, so our job is to honor that perception and use it.

When you are setting out, take responsibility for your life as if it’s based on free will, and when you are looking back, accept that what happened as meant to be.

Now in regard to the search for all the things we want in life. We must go out with an intention, but we also must have a level of openness to receiving the things that are trying to come in.”

Borrowed Wisdom: The Beauty of Ripe Fruit

When I think about all the books I've read or concepts I've explored, I can trace a lot of them back to a spark that Marcus Aurelius's Meditations lit in me circa 2013. Lots has been written about the book, since it's an inside view into the mind of the richest and most powerful living person of his time.

When I think back on the book, I always return to an overlooked comment about the beauty of ripe fruit. Aurelius’s comment always leaves me wondering whether the beauty comes from the fruit being in its prime state for consumption, or from the reality that tomorrow the same fruit will be rotten.

Like most either/or questions, the answer is undoubtedly both. However, I believe the brilliance of the question is that it brings to our attention how often we overlook one or the other: so focused on something being rich in the present, or on the tenderness that this present will pass, or, most commonly, missing both altogether.

Here is the actual passage: "We ought to observe also that even the things which follow after the things which are produced according to nature contain something pleasing and attractive. For instance, when bread is baked some parts are split at the surface, and these parts which thus open, and have a certain fashion contrary to the purpose of the baker's art, are beautiful in a manner, and in a peculiar way excite a desire for eating. And again, figs, when they are quite ripe, gape open; and in the ripe olives the very circumstance of their being near to rottenness adds a peculiar beauty to the fruit."

Reading, Watching, Listening:

Reading: Monet Refuses the Operation: A poem by Lisel Mueller, from her collection Second Language (1986). I find myself coming back to it a few times a year. It took me six or so readings for it to click, and for me it has the qualities of a great music album, in that over time I’ve come to appreciate different elements of its greatness. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions and appreciations if it speaks to you.

Let me know if anything stands out. Hope you have a great week.

Adam

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