The Longing To Be Loved

A quiet, honest reflection on singleness, longing and the story of Leah.

Here I am, a woman in my early twenties. Still single. Still waiting. And quietly watching my friends become wives and mothers.

This is not what 14year old me imagined?? What is going on??

‘GODDD WHERE IS HE” ‘LORD HOW LONG WILL I WAIT’ ‘DID I OFFEND YOU’??

He was quiet.

Until one day He whispered: ‘Study Leah’

Leah?

God, I am asking You for a man. Why are You giving me a woman?

So I delayed obedience, for a very very long time. It just wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Until one day, finally, I obeyed. And Leah changed the way I understand love.

We all carry a deep desire to be loved. It is not weakness. It is not neediness. It is wiring. Scripture tells us, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). That quiet sense of something is missing was placed there by God.

Leah knew that ache intimately.

From the very beginning, she is introduced through comparison. Rachel is described as beautiful. Leah is not. Jacob loves Rachel, not Leah. Leah becomes a wife, but she is not chosen. Her story begins in rejection. And that matters, because many women today know exactly what it feels like to be needed, but not loved. To give more. To try harder. To become softer, quieter, prettier and easier, hoping that one day someone will finally choose us.

Leah tried to earn love the same way.

When God opened her womb, every son she named carried the same silent plea.

Reuben “Now my husband will love me”,

Simeon “The Lord has heard that I am unloved”,

Levi “Now my husband will be attached to me” (Genesis 29:31-34) ‘

Each name translates into the same longing. Her motherhood became a cry for validation. A desperate hope that usefulness might finally turn into affection.

But then something changes.

After years of chasing Jacob’s approval, Leah gives birth again and this time she names her son Judah and says, “Now I will praise the Lord.” (Genesis 29:35)

Not now he will love me. Not now I will finally be chosen.

Now God is enough.

That moment is everything.

Because Judah becomes the line through which Jesus Himself would one day come.

The unloved woman becomes part of God’s greatest story.

The woman who was overlooked by her husband becomes central in God’s redemptive story.

Leah teaches us something painfully honest.

Being chosen by people will never heal what only God can touch.

Where Leah was forgotten by men, she was remembered by God. Genesis 29:31 tells us the Lord saw that she was unloved and He moved toward her. Not because she was impressive. Not because she performed well. Not because she complained loudly enough. But because He saw her pain.

And this is the part I needed to learn.

Marriage is beautiful, truly beautiful, when it is built in the order God designed. Marriage becomes safe when a woman learns to place her deepest love in God before she ever places it in a man. When her identity, her security and her sense of worth are no longer resting on whether someone chooses her, commits to her or stays.

“For your Maker is your husband…” (Isaiah 54:5)

There is a quiet, steady freedom that comes when a woman realises she is already loved by the greatest Bridegroom of all. When she masters the ability to be alone with God, without rushing to fill silence with attention, talking stages, emotional attachment or temporary comfort. When she learns to sit with God instead of running from the ache.

If marriage is used as a tool to fill emptiness, it will not work.

It may distract you for a season. It may look beautiful from the outside. It may even feel exciting at first.

But it cannot heal what it was never designed to touch.

Only God can fill what He placed inside you.

And the same God who saw Leah is the same God who sees you. He sees the prayers you stopped saying out loud. He hears the questions you whisper when no one else is around. He knows the ache you have learned to carry quietly. We serve a God who sees all things, hears all things and perfects all things at the right time. Not early. Not delayed. Not forgotten.

So let’s remind ourselves again..

“He has made everything beautiful in its TIME…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Leah may not have been chosen by Jacob.

But she was chosen by God.

And sometimes, the greatest gift God gives a woman is not a husband, but a healed, anchored and deeply rooted heart in Him.