If You “Can’t Cook,” This One’s for You...

This post is for all the people who hate cooking.
Or feel like they can’t cook.
Or feel intimidated just looking at a recipe.

Yep — you. Come here.

Whenever I tell someone I’m a private chef, I almost always ask the same follow-up question:

“Do you like to cook?”

I love asking it because the responses are never boring.

Sometimes the energy is high — they light up and start talking about their favorite meals, the dish they learned from their grandma, the one thing they make really well.

And sometimes… the vibe drops.

They shake their head like I just asked them if they enjoy doing taxes and go:
“No. Absolutely not.”

Over the holidays I asked someone this question and they said:

“I’m not a recipe follower, so nothing turns out. I don’t like cooking.”

And that got me thinking.

Because here’s the thing: I bet you couldn’t guess (lol), but I love cooking. I love feeding people. I love sitting down to a meal and knowing where the ingredients came from, what went into it, and how it was cooked.

And whenever possible, I want to pass that feeling on — because cooking isn’t some magical talent you’re born with. It’s a language. And like any language, you can learn it.

So if you’re someone who says “I can’t cook”… here’s my biggest advice.

The #1 Rule: Stop Free-Styling When You’re New

If you’re a beginner and you’re trying to “wing it” in the kitchen, I’m going to say this with love:

That’s exactly why it’s not turning out.

You don’t have to be a recipe follower forever — but in the beginning?

You do.

Because recipes are basically training wheels. They teach you timing, heat, sequence, and what things are supposed to look/smell/taste like when they’re done.

You can’t break the rules until you know what the rules are.

The Simple System That Works Every Time

1) Pick ONE simple recipe

Not “homemade noodles from scratch.” Not “braised short ribs with a reduction.”

Pick something that’s hard to mess up, like:

• roasted veggies + chicken thighs

• scrambled eggs + toast done right

• pasta with a simple sauce

• sheet pan salmon + rice

• chili or taco meat

• a basic stir-fry

Simple is not embarrassing. Simple is smart.

2) Read the recipe… then read it again

Before you cook anything, read the directions all the way through.

Then read it again until it feels familiar.

A lot of kitchen stress comes from starting a recipe and realizing halfway through you were supposed to:

• preheat the oven 20 minutes ago

• let something marinate

• have something chill in the fridge

• or have an ingredient you don’t have

Reading ahead removes the panic.

3) Look up what you don’t understand

If the recipe says “mince,” “fold,” “deglaze,” “simmer,” “julienne,” and you’re like… sir, what? —(“Just fold in the cheese!” my favorite line from Schitts Creek (lol))

Look it up.

The internet is powerful. Use it.

Watch a 30-second video. See what it looks like. Learn the word. That’s literally how people learn any skill.

4) Gather everything before you start

This part is underrated.

Get your ingredients out. Measure them. Chop what needs chopping. Put things in bowls if you need to.

It’s not extra — it’s how you stay calm and don’t burn the garlic while you’re digging through the fridge looking for a particular ingredient.

(We’ve all been there.)

5) Follow the recipe to a tee

And I mean… like it’s a contract.

Not:

• “I didn’t have lemon so I used vinegar”

• “I cooked it on high so it goes faster”

• “I didn’t measure anything, I felt it”

That’s for later.

Right now, you’re learning the language.

6) Make the same recipe 2–3 times

This is the cheat code.

Most people try one recipe once, it’s not perfect, and they decide they “can’t cook.”

No — you just tried something new one time.

Make it 2–3 times and pay attention to what changes:

• Does it taste better with a little more salt?

• Did it cook too long last time?

• Is the heat too high?

• What does “golden brown” look like on your stove?

Repetition creates confidence.

7) Then move to the next recipe

Same rule:

• read it thoroughly

• gather ingredients

• follow steps

• repeat

And before you know it, you’ll start doing what “good cooks” do:

You’ll look at a recipe and understand it.

Cooking Isn’t Talent — It’s Familiarity

People who “can cook” aren’t magically gifted.

They just know what things are supposed to look like:

• when onions are actually soft

• when chicken is truly done

• when a sauce is too thick

• when something needs acid or salt

That knowledge comes from reps, not vibes.

So if you’ve been telling yourself you can’t cook — I’m calling that bluff (nicely).

You’re not bad at cooking.
You’re just new.

And new is fixable.