The Word I Couldn't Say

Someone asked me recently what I do.

It’s such a simple question. The kind of question you’ve answered a thousand times at dinner parties, networking events, school pickups, and chance encounters in the grocery store.

I froze.

Not because I didn’t know the answer. But because the answer I had felt like a confession I wasn’t ready to make.

Retired.

There. I said it. And even typing it feels strange.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about that word — it carries weight that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what other people project onto it.

I watched it happen in real time. The slight pause. The recalibration behind someone’s eyes. The smile that was just a little too enthusiastic. The inevitable follow up — “oh wow, already? You’re so young.”

And underneath all of it, the thing I was sure they were thinking even if they’d never say it:

She got pushed out.

Maybe they were thinking that. Maybe they weren’t. But I was thinking it — and that was the real problem.

Because here’s what I’ve come to understand about the word retired: it describes an ending. And I am not an ending.

I am a woman who spent decades building real skills — systems thinking, connecting people, navigating complexity, advising the people around her on careers and finances and life. Those skills didn’t retire. I just stopped being paid by someone who didn’t deserve them.

So I’ve been looking for a different word. A better word. One that describes not what I left but what I’m building.

Portfolio life.

I’m building a portfolio life — advising people on careers and finances, traveling, and figuring out what chapter two looks like when chapter one was already pretty great.

Try saying that at a dinner party. People lean in. They ask questions. They want to know more.

That’s the difference between a word that closes a conversation and a word that opens one.

I’m done letting one inadequate word define the most interesting chapter of my life.

What word do you use when someone asks what you do? Tell me in the comments — I have a feeling I’m not the only one who has struggled with this.

If this landed somewhere true for you — share it with a woman who needs to read it. And come back next Monday. We’re just getting started. 🌿