The Biggest Loser...is me

The biggest loser is me when I make Dua to Allah at the dead of night.

The biggest loser is me when I’m crying for reasons I do not know.

The biggest loser is me when words refuse to come out of my mouth.

The biggest loser…is me when I’m making Dua to Allah, with tears spilling out of my eyes and with words stuck in my throat.

The biggest loser is me, when all I can say is:

“Ya Allah, you know what’s in my heart.”

The biggest loser is me…when I do something stupid, and believe…even hope that Allah looks down and smiles.

The biggest loser is me who holds onto the small things I hear about Islam and refuse to let them go.

The biggest loser is me…when even after all this I fear that Allah may not forgive me. And then I feel stupid for even thinking that.

The biggest loser is me when I think of all the Prophets and think about what kind of stories they’ll tell in Jannah…even though I don’t have a clue if I’ll make it or even have the honour of hearing them.

The biggest loser is me who proceeds to sit down and make Dua…listing down things I can’t wait to do in Jannah.

The biggest loser is me…who just dreams and deludes herself with nothing but belief.

Belief that no matter what…Allah has got my back.

Be the biggest loser like me…because it’s the loser of the best kind.

there isn’t much to say this time. all i can say is that i’m a loser and i’m kinda okay with that.

also maybe this is an early birthday post??